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I Sleep Talk (And Walk), Plus Other Quirky Things My Future Husband Should Know That Make Me... Me

Here's your fair warning.

Alissa Pressley
Aug 26, 2019
College of Charleston
15
I Sleep Talk (And Walk), Plus Other Quirky Things My Future Husband Should Know That Make Me... Me
Jasmine Wallace Carter from Pexels

Dear Future Husband,

For some reason, we've decided to get married. Just like my girl Meghan Trainor said, there's a few things you need to know if you want to be my one and only for all of my life.

1. I drop the toothpaste cap down the drain...very often.

For some reason I have not yet mastered refraining from unscrewing the cap off the toothpaste over the sink. Every single time I dive my hand in the sink to cover the drain hole, I'm always a second too late and the little white cap continues its journey down the unknown. I wouldn't mention this if it wasn't serious. I somehow always manage to do this! It's gotten so bad at one point that I had to start buying the toothpaste with the caps that stay attached on one side.

2. I can't really cook.

Surprise! Cooking was just never passed down to me through the familial genes. Although, I can make a bomb breakfast omelets. I just never took the initiative to go in the kitchen with my Nana to learn anything. I'd rather you do the cooking if you don't want to eat out very often. I'm a pro at ordering take out though so it could possibly balance out. Please don't be offended by the several heart eye emojis next to McDonald's and Domino's in my phone.

3. I'm never wrong.

I am always right! Even when I'm wrong (which is not often) I'm still right. The only time I've been wrong, is probably during any of my math or chemistry classes. Other than that, just listen to what I say and we'll get along right away.

4. I'm a very wild sleeper.

Sorry in advance! I'm the sleeper who starts in one position and then wakes up in a totally different one. I start off in the fetal position but once I enter a deep sleep just be open to experience anything. That includes but is not limited to: sleep talking, sleepwalking, possibly kicking, slight snoring, and occasional nose bleeds. I do apologize for any bruising and aches or pains that you may experience at night.

If you keep those simple notes in mind I'm sure our relationship will be a long beautiful one!

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