Earlier today I was catching up on the third episode of season three of Bachelor in Paradise – arguably the most entertaining reality television show to have ever aired, according to Silicon Valley star Thomas Middleditch and the rest of America. While I was trying to contain my anxiety as the episode ended on a cliffhanger, leaving the audience to wait another week (and another grueling thirty-six hours for myself) to find out if Josh is going to beat up Evan for attempting to steal Amanda, the credits clip following the previews of next week's drama peaked my interest on another plane.
The clip showed Jared and Evan attempting to recall the lines of Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken”. After much struggle, confusing “divulge” with “diverge” and attributing the authorship to Thoreau, they decided that the overall message is to “take the road less traveled”. To be fair, I do not know the context of the conversation – but I believe it’s safe to infer that they took the more popular interpretation of this poem. This is the more optimistic and inspiring reading that preaches nonconformity – that “going your own way” is necessary to having a meaningful life. This resonates well with humanity because everyone at his or her core believes that he or she is special and that his or her life has the potential for meaning and lasting impact. We know from ancient parables and rom-coms that we are inevitably faced with monumental choices, contrasting life paths if you will, where one is practical yet likely unfulfilling while the other is instilled with passion and difficult obstacles, yet its destination seems far more personally satisfying. The latter parallels the voices of the people who always told you to “do what you love” and “go for your dreams”.
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However, as important as this message is, it’s far from what Frost is actually saying.
Before I go further into my rant, let’s have a refresher on the actual poem:
The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I remember always staring at a poster in my seventh-grade math class – not because it was particularly interesting, I honestly just really hated Algebra. But I stared at the poster so much that its image is burned into my mind. It was an image of a path surrounded by yellow trees on either side with Frost’s last two lines of this poem written in cursive in the center of the image. Seems inspiring, eh? Partially because of this poster and other accounts of American social condition, I – like many others – believed that the poem’s name was “The Road Less Traveled”. Those last two lines alone are far more indicative of its presumptive positive message of individualism and the value of straying from the crowd.
Yet, the actual title of the poem – “The Road Not Taken” – is the biggest insight into its actual meaning. Not. As in the road he did not take. As in the focus of subject’s thoughts as he muses on what he will say about his decision in the future.
The first theme one notices when reading this poem carefully is that it is filled with contradiction. A man walks to a fork in the wood and must make a choice on what path he should take. He wants to take both, but he realizes that this is not possible as he is only one man, one traveler. He looks at one path, as far as he could see and immediately takes the other as it had the “…better claim/Because it was grassy and wanted wear”. Herein lies the first contradiction whereas he digresses, he admits that each path had no discernible difference from the other. Both were covered in yellow leaves, yet to be “trodden black” from oxidation from the wear of travelers. It can even be speculated that the subject was unable to see grass on either of the paths as they’re both covered in leaves. Nevertheless, he recognizes in the final lines of the third stanza that he would come back to the first path on another day, yet understands in the analogy of choice that it is unlikely that he will ever have the opportunity to return as this decision may lead many others far from where he stood at that fork.
Arriving at the fourth stanza, the poem shifts from past to future tense, indicative by the word “shall” in the line “I shall be telling this with a sigh/Somewhere ages and ages hence”. It is here where we realize that the subject is actually speaking to us from the fork in the road. He has yet to make any decision, rather stands locked in indecision and reflects on the thoughts that an older version of himself would have while looking back to where he is now, wondering what his life would have been like if he took the “more traveled path”.
We know from his confessions in the earlier stanzas that both paths are identical, or at least indistinguishable to him at that moment. This is true to most decisions one is faced with in the present – although we can speculate what a choice will actually entail, we will not know the reality until we move forward in that direction. Thus, the reality of the other choice and the possibility of “what could have been” will forever remain speculation.
This is the crux of Frost’s message – the fear of regret is intoxicating. True happiness is impossible when we ruminate on where we could be over where we are. Worse yet, the fear of regret is paralyzing. This is what we find in the subject. He stands at this fork, unable to make a decision, knowing that whichever one he does take, he’ll wish he had taken the other. Frost’s message in this poem likely targets his colleague, British poet Edward Thomas. The two allegedly went on walks together during Frost's time in Britain, and Thomas would constantly reflect with regret at the end of their journeys that taking an alternative route would have been the better choice.
While it’s important for one to form his or her own path and stray from conformity, the far darker interpretation of “The Road Not Taken” has a potentially more relevant and impactful message for the Millennial generation. As I sit in my New York apartment, writing on a Sunday night like I usually do, I often reflect on my life – what decisions I made to get me here and where I want to go. Even little decisions – like if I took the R to 49th this morning and walked to Rockefeller Center instead of transferring to the BDFM on 34th. I could have run into my soul mate while attempting to make the BDFM, spilling coffee all over him in the most mortifying encounter possible. I would have then apologized profusely, and he would have made some joke about how he never liked that shirt anyway and then asked me to drinks on Thursday. By 2017, we would be married and traveling the world together, living happily ever after on some beach in Bali. It would have been beautiful.
And you would be lying if a similar string of thoughts hadn’t crossed your mind at some point in your life.
As Millennials, we have more choices each day on average than any other generation. With globalization and the constant influx of information about the thousands of things happening simultaneously around us, it’s overwhelming to attempt to determine which decision will provide us with the highest amount of utility. The potential consequences can oftentimes freeze us into choosing nothing. Instead, we open Netflix to avoid the anxiety and are faced with yet another decision process about whether or not to commit to six seasons of Lost or Gossip Girl. It’s suffocating, really.
According to Frost, the decision you make ultimately doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you make a decision. Because yes, you’ll always miss out on the path you didn’t choose, but that’s one less path than if you made no choice at all. Better yet, make a choice with conviction and understanding that there’s always a possibility to change where you’re going with the many forks you’ll be faced with throughout life. As long as you keep moving, you increase your chances of achieving the highest level of utility and depth of meaning in your life.
The choice you make does “… make all the difference”. It’s far different from if you had chosen the other, that much is obvious. But how awful would life be if we were given no choices at all? We could argue about fate and free will, but that is a different, yet related discussion for another day. Choice – or the illusion of choice – is imminent and unavoidable. How we choose to proceed with a decision and the subsequent events that follow, and thus control our emotions surrounding said decision, is what ultimately determines our overall satisfaction with our destination.
