This past year has been the craziest, most fun, and most challenging but motivated year of my life. It was also the most educational year, both in academics and in life.
This is around the age where kids like me start having to do that whole “adulting” thing: keeping track of finances, making your own appointments, and learning to do laundry correctly (luckily, I never left a red sock in my white load. The secret? Don’t buy red socks).
Other than the adulty things, though, there were countless life lessons I either learned or started to learn. Here are the ones I feel I have as much of a handle on to explain in a few words.
1. You gotta be assertive.
You do get a good amount of attention at college, but you also have to seek out a majority. Even your advisors won’t help unless you make an appointment and ask them for specific things. If you want something done, you gotta ask for it and you gotta be persistent about it.
Most of the time, if someone says no the first time and you keep pursuing, they’ll give you what you want, just to get rid of you. It’s funny, but it’s true. People are lazy. If it’s easier to give you what you want than it is to deal with you being annoying and persisting, that’s what’ll happen. People don’t owe you anything - you have to work for what you want.
2. You gotta be patient.
People will be late. People will mess up. People will forget. People will be human, and it’ll mess up plans or annoy people or be inconvenient. Be patient. Let it happen, figure something else out, and don’t waste the energy getting angry or annoyed. It’s not worth it. Figure it out and move on. Life will be so much less stressful.
3. You gotta be flexible.
College is all about meeting new people, doing new things, making friends, and making memories - not planning. The best memories that I have from this past year came from nights where I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. The best nights happen when you go on unexpected adventures and have candid conversations. And honestly, the most seemingly boring things like studying or walking home can become the most fun times, if you let them happen.
4. Sleeping enough, while very important, is also not the most important thing in the world.
Sometimes you just have to stay up studying for that test, sometimes that great conversation or awesome adventure until 4 am is worth being tired the next day. (Also, naps are your best friend.)
5. Emotions are your friend, not your enemy.
Having them, paying attention to them, and listening to them, is healthy.
6. Emotions also don't mean weakness.
Acknowledging them is actually one of the strongest things a person can do. Vulnerability is scary and daunting, and being able to be vulnerable is incredibly brave. Being closed off is being cowardly, and really only hurting yourself.
7. You don't have to have your own "brand."
You don’t need a personal style, aesthetic, or personality that you always hold to. Your style is what you feel good wearing, and that doesn’t have to be defined by anything. Remember, everyone is trying to “define” or “find” themselves. You don’t have to ever find those answers: life is the pursuit of them.
8. Don't stand for drama.
If people are being dramatic, either tell them to stop or disengage. Life is much too short for unnecessary drama.
9. Also, stop complaining about drama!
If it’s happening in your life, its either because:
a. you keep causing it; in which case stop.
b. you keep complaining about it but don't do anything about it; in which case, either work to diffuse the situation or remove yourself from the situation altogether.
10. Always always always tell the people you love that you love them.
Never let a friend, significant other, or even a professor go unappreciated if you appreciate them. Give more love than you receive and in time, you’ll receive more love than you can imagine.
11. Dear god, fight for what you believe in.
If you’re upset about something, change it, or speak out about it. If you’re passionate about something, do it. Do something you’re proud of. Do something, and do it to your best ability. No excuses.
I still wouldn’t say I totally have a handle on all of these, and I’m sure there are many more things I have to learn. But I think, I hope, putting these things in writing will really solidify them - I, and everyone going through the time of life I am, could use that.
