Feminists. We all know one or have encountered stories about one in the media. It's a growing movement with growing media coverage and quite frankly, I don't agree with it. I have never identified as a feminist and don't plan to. Personally, I feel that feminists tend to be closed-minded and have a "If you don't agree, I'll just say it until you do" mentality. I view their causes as exaggerated and unimportant. However, that opinion is strongly influenced by media, meaning that it does not apply to every feminist.

This week, I discovered an exception to my mental rule against feminism. I met a woman whom, for the purpose of this article, I will call Mac. Mac was born in 1954 and has been a feminist for forty-two years. What struck me about her is her open mind and willingness to understand opinions that don't match her own. She does not lack passion with her motives, but she certainly is gentle with her words.

On Tuesday September 20, I interviewed Mac to gain a better understanding of feminism as she views it.

How would you define feminism?

"I would define feminism as an exploration of what gender roles have meant to us and how we are defined and shaped by gender."

Why did you decide to become a feminist?

". . . In the 60's and 70's women were just entering the work force in professional positions. I think most of us who came into the work force in the 60's and 70's will tell you, 'Yes, I underwent sexual harassment and sex discrimination'. We have our stories. . . I loved my father greatly, but he was 45 when I was born. . . he was from a different generation. When he found out that I wanted to go to law school, he looked at me and he said, 'If you go to law school, you go without the support, emotional or financial, of this family'. My uncle was an attorney; his best friend was an attorney. It was't about being an attorney; it was about a woman being an attorney. The second story [of mine] is that, when I graduated from college, I graduated with honors, and I wrote my honors thesis on women in literature . . . I took it home, and I remember sitting in the study one day. I would have been watching television or reading, and I remember my father coming into the room, throwing that paper in my lap and saying, 'I don't care what you believe; you do not bring it home with you'. . . It was many years later that I realized that my father sent me to college, not for a degree, but to find an appropriate husband. . . No matter how different [men and women] are . . . we have a common dream, and I think it is the right of everyone to have the opportunity to pursue that dream."

Do you believe that men and women are different on more than just a biological level?

"I believe that there may be [differences beyond the biological level]. The problem that we run into is defining how much of the shaping of gender is biological and how much is social pressures and constructs, but I believe that there may be differences that are formulated by DNA or by genetic encoding, it's just that I'm not sure that we know what those differences are at this point."

Do you believe that it is necessary, to some extent, that men and women be treated differently?

"I believe that we as individuals should be treated differently. In other words, no two boys are the same, no two girls are the same. Gender, whether it is biological or sociological, shapes us, and yet at the same time I have known very independent strong women who have had very nontraditional careers. I've known many women who certainly identified as heterosexual who also had nontraditional careers. I've known women who were plumbers, I've known women who were carpenters, I have known women who were artists. I have know women who were nurses and doctors. And I think that, as we are growing up, we need to develop the talents and interests that each individual has. And that does go to men too. I know men who are outstanding nurses, outstanding teachers, fields that were traditionally feminine. . . I think the point I'm making is that I would like to erase gender as being a determiner of our potential. I think that we need to look at the individual rather than look at the limiters of what society will allow us to be. That goes for men and women. . ."

What issues should feminists focus on in 2016?

"We were radicals [in the 1960's and 1970's]. Today women are turning over [their rights]. What I see is dramatic reversals [of advancements made in the 70's]. . . We still make less than men; we are giving up a lot of rights; we are no longer identifying gender stereotyping. I actually think one of the concerns women today should have is to make sure that they never give up the inherent belief in equality of all people. . . I think we are allowing society to present us with limitations, and we're accepting them. I am also seeing that women have less and less self-respect. . . We need to take some stands, and I don't mean stands for feminism, I mean stands for humanity."

What role do men play in the inequality and degradation of women? Are males at fault?

"Is there any fault? In the end, we are in a society which historically has chosen to suppress women. The men of today, they are as much victims as the women are. When I see a lot of masculine behaviors, I look at [the men] and recognize that, just as my father was, they are products of many, many years of history and training. Women are, too; we are as much at fault. Sometimes because we won't take a stand, sometimes because we don't value ourselves. No, I do not blame men. I do not like a lot of behaviors, but I don't like a lot of behaviors in women either. . . I believe that we are all victims of our social upbringing."

Are men stereotyped and discriminated against?

"I would argue that our society may be even harsher toward men who do not conform. In other words, they make fun of them. One of the most difficult types of abuse they deal with is the abuse that comes from the joke. . . A lot of men who have chosen to go into nontraditional roles have been the subject of horrible comic abuse to the extent that they are diminished, their identity is diminished. As I said, I think that for men, [social treatment] may be even harsher than for women. [Men who posses feminine traits] are not even given the dignity of anger, they are simply belittled. I feel sorrier for men in that position than I do for women."

Do you believe that women should cover themselves more to avoid objectification or do you believe that women shouldn't have to worry about being treated differently, no matter what they wear?

"I believe that there is appropriate dress for appropriate occasions. In the workplace do we want to appear sexy? In most work places, that's probably not a good idea. When we're going swimming, it is already assumed that we will be disclosing quite a bit of skin, it's appropriate. We [should] dress appropriately for the circumstance and that is what we have lost track of. To me, it's not about gender in clothing, it's about respect."

WHAT I LEARNED

Although I am still not a feminist, I did take away some very insightful truths from my conversation with Mac. It was interesting speaking with her and seeing how different, yet similar, feminism today is compared to feminism in the 1960's-- A time when women were not welcomed into the workforce or treated with respect.

The most important lesson that Mac taught me is one I hope I was able to communicate with you: The problems and inequalities in our society will never be solved by feminism, racism, or any other "-ism". The issues in our world are much deeper. They begin and end with kindness, humanity, and respect for one another.

Mac, thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts with me.