When I was a little girl I never felt limited by my gender. I had dolls and loved playing dress up. My bedroom walls were pink, my hair perfectly coiffed, dresses swishy and floral. I never noticed the boundaries set by gender. Years passed, and I didn’t blink when girls were excluded from football at recess. I assumed that when I grew up I would stay at home with my kids.

As I grew up, the goals I wanted to accomplish changed. Getting married before the age of thirty was replaced with traveling to India. I was told that I shouldn’t move to New York City because “It’s not a good place to raise kids.” Can you imagine someone telling a boy that? When I started paying attention to politics I was appalled at the lack of women in government. (For the record, women comprise only 19% of the seats in the US government, according to The World Bank.) Thus, balding gray men are the majority of people making decisions about my body.

It was then that I relinquished the fear of being called a man-hater, shouting from the rooftop that I, Kaitlyn Hensley Spratt, was a feminist. For many, the word feminist is threatening. There are people who believe feminists want to enslave the male population, overthrow the government, and burn bras in the street.

For the record, none of those sound appealing.

We don’t hate men. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, feminism is, “The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.” That includes me, you, and all the members of One Direction. Really, all I want is to be paid the same as my male counterparts, given the same opportunities and treated with respect. It’s that simple.

But many don’t see it that way. The problem, I believe, is not in the definition but in the word itself. I don’t know many people who think that women should get paid less than men. According to a poll done by Vox, a news site, only 18% of Americans consider themselves feminists, but 85% claim they believe in “equality for women.”” Because of this misconception, new terms are created such as “Feminazi” and “Meninist.”

There are those who are so scared by the idea of women campaigning for equality that they call us “Feminazis,” which, defined by its inventor Rush Limbaugh is, “a feminist to whom the most important thing in life is ensuring that as many abortions as possible occur.” A slight exaggeration? I think so.

Please listen to this carefully: Meninism is not a thing. Men make more money than us, hold significantly more seats in the senate, can get the health care they need, and walk down the street without fear of being catcalled. Meninists claim to want equal rights for men. Compared to what? Women? In that case, you’ll need to lose rights in order to have “equality.”