As I reach the end of my teenage years, the "k" word will start popping up. What is the ungodly "k" word you ask? It's simple, it's "kids." For some reason people just love to start talking to young women about having kids right around college and post-college. I already know girls younger than me who are talking about what they'll name their little bundles of joy and how they cannot wait to be mommies. That's wonderful for them, but that will never be me. I've known for a long time that I will not have kids. I simply do not want them. This seems to be really hard for some people to process.
Nearly every time I say I don't want to have children to an adult, they laugh and say, "oh you say that now" implying my mind will change. Spoiler alert: it won't. I get that people change as they get older and I'm sure I will change a lot in the future, but this is one thing I will not change on. Even when I politely explain my reasoning, I get ridiculous responses, one of the most common being "well the boy you end up with will want kids!" (Sorry, I know plenty of boys who are on the same page as me including the one who's opinion matters in my case), and the most uncomfortable being, "you know accidents do happen!" Um...excuse me?
I personally believe I am not fit to be a mother. That sentence itself raises some eyebrows, understandably so. When I say I am not fit to be a mother, I don't mean that I'm an unstable, unsavory person unable to take care of myself let alone another human being. Women can not be meant for motherhood for several reasons.
First off, if you're like me, you may be an only child who was never exposed to children. I never had siblings, younger cousins, or even neighbor kids to babysit. I've had basically zero interaction with children my whole life and whenever I do interact with them, it is painful and awkward for the both of us. A lot of younger people are choosing to focus on their careers and recognize that it isn't fair to a child to have to juggle both. I'm not bashing the career parent, I think it is fantastic when people are able to balance both! On the other hand, I know several parents who both work so much that a nanny basically raises their child. That is just not fair to a kid.
I'll be honest, the lifestyle I want does not include children. When I am an adult, I want to be able to put my heart and soul into my job and spend quality time with my partner. Is this selfish? Depending on the point of view, yes. Do I care? Absolutely not, it's my life.
To all the girls who are in the same boat as me, as you reach the prime child rearing stage of your life, do not be pressured into having a kid because it's what society says you have to do. To all the girls who want to have kids, go for it! I'll admire your precious angels from afar because let's be real, your baby doesn't want to meet me and I don't want to meet it. To each their own, I suppose.
