First, I want to say that I am praying for all the victims and families of the Dallas shooting. What happened is inexcusable. It is wrong and it is sad. I pray for the city of Dallas as they pull together to make sense of this loss. I pray for children who have to grow up in this world, and for parents worried about how they are going to raise children in the midst of all this violence and terror. I also pray for the families of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. I pray for Black Americans who are terrified that the same thing could happen to them or their children. I pray for everyone because yes, all lives do matter, but I don’t think that’s the point.

I don’t think there was ever any question about whether any life was valued over another. For every person I’ve seen say “Black Lives Matter” I’ve seen at least 20 people say “All lives matter. Not just black lives. Why does your life matter more than mine?” That’s not what this movement is about. Imagine a family is sitting at the dinner table. Everyone has food except for the youngest child. He speaks up and says, “Hey, I deserve food!” to which everyone replies “We deserve food too! Everyone deserves food!” and continues to eat. Of course everyone deserves food, but the child is the one who doesn’t have food at the moment, so do something about that. If the other people at the table didn’t have food, then they should be upset, but they’re not the ones suffering right now.

No one deserves to die, but there is an overwhelming amount of police brutality toward African Americans. Let’s focus on that. Every time one of these fatal shootings occurs, my entire Facebook feed immediately goes on the defensive, talking about how the police are what’s keeping this country safe, about all the good cops they know. I don’t doubt any of that. I don’t think all police are bad, but I am also not afraid to admit that there are some bad cops. You can recognize that there is a problem, and a need for police reform and still love and respect the police. You don’t have to pick a side.

Also, yelling to “stop making everything about race” doesn’t really do anything. Do I believe there are people who reach and try to make things about race when it isn’t? Abso-freaking-loutely. Do I believe that racism is still a major problem in our country? Abso-freaking-loutely. You can believe both! Sometimes it is about race. Saying that doesn’t imply that all white people are racist or all cops are bad. It is simply saying that some people are racist and that is not OK. The “race card” doesn’t have to divide us. As soon as racism is brought up, someone says “Stop trying to divide Americans.” Don’t let it. Realize that even if you aren’t racist, other people can be. You don’t have to feel threatened.

On the other side of this, those cops’ lives do matter too. What happened in Dallas is not OK in any way. If someone posts about Police Lives Matter, then someone claps back with “And black lives don’t? You care about this and not what happened two days ago?” You. Can. Care. About. Both. Just because someone supports the police does not mean they hate black people, just in the same way that someone supporting Black Lives Matter does not mean they hate the police.

Long story short: All lives matter. That is not debatable, but ask yourself if you’re saying this because you really believe it or if it’s because you don’t want to admit that there are problems. Racism is real. There are good cops and bad cops. Not everything in this world is black and white. Sometimes we need to accept that it is about race. Sometimes we need to accept that there are police that are here to protect and serve. Stop choosing sides. Choose to be an American. Choose to be a human.