This blog will consist of about 500 words (because I have to write at least 500 words) on this random, yet substantial question that I seem to think about from time to time.

What even is life?

When I ponder about this question, in my head, a huge rush of emotions storm through my body. I think this is because there is no specific answer to this question and I have this huge drive in me to figure things out (especially this question), or even worse, because I am now a victim caught in this misconception of this positive light I used to think life was versus this more narrow light life is becoming every day I get older. Or, in simpler terms, because life is not at all what I expected it to be.

So...

What even is life?

Growing up, I used to have these positive thoughts about how great things would be after high school and all I had to do was be successful and make it to that point. You know, the typical American dream where if you work hard as fuck in life, no matter where you come from, you will be rewarded appropriately. Well time passed, I worked harder than hard as fuck, and I found out that I believed in an extreme lie. If you still believe in this dream, I hope this does not discourage you, but you too, will soon realize the lie.

So then again, I asked myself the same question...

What even is life?

At this point, after working so hard and making it out of hard times that I never thought would be possible, I thought for sure that college would be the place where things would change and life would get better. That was a lie (to some extent).

Just to clarify (because I know people will read this and get pissed off or say things that they think are relevant to what I am talking about), I am focusing on life getting better based on what I call the "American Dream" lie. To sum up what that means I will define it through a short story.

Meet Kalee. Kalee is a hard working, honest and trust worthy individual who attends high school in Kansas. Her life is extremely hard because her parents are divorced, she feels alone, she doesn't have the best lifestyle because her parents both make under 30,000 a year but work all of the time and because of her sad lifestyle she wants to lose hope in ever getting out of her situation. However, she doesn't lose hope. Instead she believes that if she just continues to work hard in school, get good grades, don't get in trouble with the law, don't get pregnant, stay away from drugs, she will get the proper scholarships for her college education and she will get a great degree and life will be great from then. She ends up getting some scholarships, but not many, takes out loans, but thinks it will okay because she will get a good job after college. Gets through college with good grades, had some great experiences, got really involved in college, then realized that life only gets harder and worse from that point forward. She realizes that she lived a lie but has come too far and that there are not really any other substantial options in making it in this world but at least she has a degree. Her dream job is out of the question. She needs a job, any job soon, because she has loans to pay off.

Sorry, I know I said short story, but that was the only way I could think of to show you what I was talking about. I do want to clarify that I do believe in a great life for the person who wants it and who works hard for it. I also want to say that it can happen, however the chances are small because of the true way our society and world is set up.

So, what even is life?

I guess the life you happen to be in, so make the best out of it.