Something that I have begun to speak more openly about is my epilepsy, which is having a seizure disorder. Though I have only been diagnosed with epilepsy for about two years now, my current neurologist has determined my seizures go back to when I was about twelve years old. Recently, I've been going through tests and hospital visits to see what the next steps for me should be since the normal steps for epilepsy (medications) don't seem to be helping me.

My neurologist has been meeting with the neurosurgeons at the hospital he works at and they have all determined that I am a surgical candidate to have the part of my brain where my seizures are happening messed around with (I'm not 100% sure exactly how that will go yet) which should cure my epilepsy.

Brain surgery is something that I am both excited and completely frightened by. The risks of any surgery and big, let alone having someone cut into your skull and your brain. There's also a recovery time of one to three months. I can't imagine being out of commission for so long. Thinking of all these negatives, however, doesn't keep me from thinking of what surgery could do for me... being free from all this.

Though it would take some time, I would no longer need all the medications, I wouldn't have to worry about drinking alcohol or coffee (which can both trigger seizures), don't have to think about losing my license (which happens every time someone has a seizure), and I wouldn't need to sit in fear every day wondering if I'm going to have a seizure again. "Is this the day?" I could be normal.

I know that everyone is unique in their own ways, but not having to worry about these things is something I honestly can't imagine and would love to experience. Epilepsy, along with many other disorders, affect more people than we imagine and people we would least expect.