Recently, I was asked this question in a one-on-one with a professor. It sort of startled me, because I guess I never really thought about what exactly did drive me, motivated me, made me want to get out of the bed every morning and do the work ahead of me.
I sat and thought for a minute. So many things, people, items, and places came to mind.
I thought about the younger kids in my family: my younger siblings and my cousins. I thought about the cousin that wants to be involved in every theatre production that comes her way, the cousin that could be apart of the Fab 5 if she continues to work on her flexibility, my brother that wants to design video games and leave to go over 500 miles after he graduates high school in two years. I thought about the other brother that wants to build cars from the ground up. All of these kids have dreams and practical careers they want to land, and I want them to see that if I can do it, they can too.
I thought about the people who walked away, the people who don't even know me anymore. Each person that left made me gain something: whether it was a little more optimism, a determination to write an essay, or even just to take time for myself maybe for a half hour. Each person that walked away, ended our relationship, hurt me, gave me something to fuel my drive. The one person I wanted to be my entire drive walked away from me out of nowhere one day. They were my confidant, the one who guided me, pushed me, listened to me, and then they left. They didn't want to do that anymore. Naturally, I was down. I'm still down, but I'm realizing that even though they're gone, I can still be something without them as my everything.
I thought about my friends, the one who have yet to leave and that I hope do not leave. My roommate that always motivates me to do my homework, or tells me to slow down and just take a nap. My three best friends all in different areas that still reach out and help me in whatever way they can. My friends that I have made here at school, who always send each other words of encouragement and help each other relax, whether it's with Chinese food or a movie at 2:00 a.m.
I then thought about the rest of my family. Being the oldest daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, etc., I was given a lot of expectations. Naturally, none of them have been where I am now, yet they still try to help me in whatever way they can. They listen to me, respond to my questions, try to give me what I need, and just are always there. If there's one thing you need to drive you, a support system is the number one item. And the ones that were apart of the system and left? Forget them. They clearly didn't want to see you shine anymore.
So when I was asked "what drives you?" I said all of this. I said that I had that support system, that the people who left me fueled me, and that there were children back home, watching my every move and hoping they, too, could do it. To my brothers and cousins, you can. When I was in fourth grade, I never would've pictured myself where I am now. When I was about to start middle school, I didn't think I could ever go to college. When I was a senior in high school, it's all I worked for. Kids, if you have even the slightest ounce of drive in you, don't let it go. It'll continue to grow as you grow and become more aware of everything.
So now that you see why I do what I do, let me ask: what drives you?
