Throughout life, we accumulate many friends. Some stay, some unfortunately go. But as we get older, our friendships tend to stick and become more important in our life. My high school teacher would always say to our class, "Show me your friends and I'll show you your future." What does that mean? It means that the people we surround ourselves with can influence and dictate the important decisions we make throughout life, this can either be an impactful or detrimental lesson we learn. Do you have a community of true friends? What does a genuine friend look like? Are you a real friend to others? These are vital questions we need to answer when we reflect on the success of our relationships and future.

Over the years, I've seen what a true friend looks like. I've learned from their actions, not their words. Recently, I've come to realize that it's important to surround yourself with someone who not only loves you unconditionally and supports you but who tells you the truth even when it's hard and keeps you accountable for your actions. They stretch you as a person, helping you grow and making you better for it. These friendships can come in all shapes and sizes, from the first day of cross country practice in 6th grade to an amazing group of high school girls to your potluck roommate or to a group of girls in a bible study your freshman year of college. It doesn't matter, you'll know. I've learned so much from them, and here's what they've taught me about being a true friend.

You're there for that person, no matter how inconvenient or hard it may be for you. You aren't there when it's easiest for you; you make them a priority no matter how difficult or complicated your life can be. You prioritize your busy life to make time for them, whether that means a quick text to ask how life is or that you miss and love them. It can be a FaceTime call at two in the morning from Virginia to Texas, to catch up because you haven’t talked in a while or you're homesick and need to see a friendly face. A handwritten letter, because nothing beats good ol' fashion pen and paper and opening your mailbox to see that someone sent you something. A true friend makes the time, putting aside everything else because you are important to them and they genuinely care. Find the friends who are your lighthouses, so when the water’s get rough and life gets hard, you know you can depend on the firm friendship you both share.

A true friend accepts an apology. One time I really screwed up. I was completely in the wrong and my heart was cold as I shut my friends out. I made a mistake but they never left my side. When I finally came around they were there with open arms, accepting my apology to the fullest extent and picking up right where we left off. It was like the parable son and his father and I was shocked at how gracious, loving and nonjudgmental they were towards me. I felt as though I didn't deserve to have friends like them. They have bigger hearts than me and to this day, I am still in awe of their merciful acceptance of my apology. It doesn't matter how bad you screw up like my mom always says, you always accept an apology. A true friend will move on and love you no matter the mistakes you make. I look back now and realized that the low point in our friendship only made us stronger as friends and for that, I am thankful.

Lastly, a true friend mirrors Proverbs 27:17, as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. I believe that an authentic and real friendship pushes you to grow as an individual. They ask you the hard questions; they address the elephant in the room and are blunt and upfront with you when something needs to be addressed. They do this because they care but also because they understand the depth and take the accountability in your friendship seriously. Fellowship and community are of high value in my life. Friends are there when you need advice when you need to be put back on the straight and narrow, someone to laugh with until it hurts and someone who will cry with you when your world comes crashing down around you. They are your support and foundation. True friends are constant, reliable and trustworthy.

So ask yourself, do you fit the mold of a true friend? Are you a dependable friend that people can count on? Do you have authentic friendships? I’ll leave you with this, life is hard, and you need to have a community of people, who will surround you, uplift you, defend you and love you endlessly. Once you find them, never let them go.