This time of year, it is easy to feel discontent. We tell our friends and family about all of the new toys we want for Christmas and think about how we can’t afford to buy our friends the new toys they want. We see those who are less fortunate than us exhibit true joy and we envy them. The question runs through our mind, “How are they so content when I am not?”

As I have grown up, I have found myself looking for contentedness. I can remember thinking, once I get to high school, or am on varsity, or make first team all league, or get a job, or start college, or whatever the next big thing is, I will be content. I went through each milestone and continued to look forward at what was next, what would make my life better. The newer version of what I wanted blinded me from truly appreciating what I had achieved. My life was riddled with self-doubt and distrust of God, and I didn’t even realize it. I saw what I didn’t have, and was upset that God wasn’t giving me all of the things I wanted all at the same time.

I remember sitting in bed one night crying out to God, “Why? Why don’t you give me this? You know I am not content without it, so why haven’t you given it to me?” I went to bed and expected to get what I wanted. The Bible says that God will give us the desires of our heart, so I just expected to wake up with everything I wanted sitting on my desk next to my bed. I was like a toddler who threw a tantrum in the middle of a store and expected to be given whatever I wanted just to quiet met.

The thing is, God doesn’t just appease us. He doesn’t care that you yell, or cuss, or talk back. He can take it. What He does care about is us and how we truly come to know Him. Once I realized this, I couldn’t even see what I wanted anymore. I was blinded by the grace that had given me what I already had. Okay, I guess I wasn’t blinded, I can still see what I want. I want a new fancy coffee maker, and dog, and a big house on a lake, but I am content. I have come to see that being content doesn’t mean not wanting for anything, or not thinking about the future. It simply means, trusting that God will do as he has promised, and that it will be what is best for you in the end. We were never promised that we will get every cute dog we see, have lifelong financial security, or even get married and have kids. We were, however, promised a life riddled with pain, self-doubt, and confusion. But, we were promised to be protected from it, to be victorious over it simply because we know Christ died to protect us from these things.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about taking time to remember what God has done for you, taking time to “selah.” This week, I am writing again to remind you to remember what God has done, but to also have hope for what He will do. Being content doesn’t mean not wanting, it just means seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and recognizing what you have to help you get out of the tunnel.