Listen.

Can you hear it?

That voice in your head saying “You are not good enough. You are not strong enough. You actually think you can do this? You actually think you can do anything? Wow, you are deluding yourself.” I hear these voices all the time. They come at me from out of nowhere. In the middle of the work day, in the middle of the night. Sometimes they speak softly, and I have to try really hard to hear what they said. Other times, they are screaming at me, pounding red hot nails into my head. They come in the shape of voices I know all too well. The voice of my bosses, both current and old, of my professors at college or from hometown school teachers. I hear the voices of my family, my brothers and sisters, my parents. My ex boyfriends, or even better their current girlfriends. But worst of all is when that voice sounds unmistakably like my own. You can try to ignore it. I sometimes do. But not often. That’s when they start to scream, and let’s be honest, it is just too much to bear when that happens.

Well, I want you to take a minute to listen, this time to me. I have something very important to tell you.

You ARE good enough. You ARE strong enough. You can totally do this! You can do anything you want to do! You may deluding yourself, but only if you believe these small minded voices in your head. Block them out, or shut them down. Or better yet, EMBRACE THE SUCK. Most of these bits of negativity being thrown your way are just people dealing with their own insecurities, and their own failures. Some people can only feel successful when they surround themselves by people who are failing. Well, tell them that you have news for the them, because you are NOT going to fail! This world is full of bitter, angry, lonely people who just want everyone to hurt the way they do. But their are also people that are bright, and vivacious, and full of love and laughter. Be one of the those people. Be that light in someone’s darkness. Never let a poorly conceived thought or a carelessly placed word tear down another person. It is so easy to be down and out in a society that breed such disdain for others, but I am a huge believer in the idea that it doesn’t need to be that way.

There have been a handful of moments in my life where someone has taken a split second to tell me that I’ve positively influenced their life. It might be in a big way, or something seemingly insignificant. But you never know when the littlest thing in your day becomes a shining beacon for someone else. One of my most cherished moments with a sorority sister of mine happened last year. I sat across from her during our weekly meeting. Partway through, I noticed that she was not talking much, and as the meeting grew longer, I discovered that she was trying very hard not to cry. Afterward, as everyone was leaving, I went over to her and gave her a hug and asked what was wrong. As she laid her burdens on my shoulders, I could see the pain slip away from her face and the tension leave her body. She said to me that she had been struggling with this particular burden for days, and that I was the first person to check on her and see what I could do. When I saw her the next day, she was laughing with her friends and I could tell that those voices in her head were no longer there tearing them down. I could have easily went on my way that night, walking out the door the minute the meeting ended. But I am so glad that I didn’t. It took only ten minutes of my time, but I was able to lighten her load until she was able to carry it on her own. And in return, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction and love.

Never let those evil little voices drown out the supportive ones. We all have bad days, we all feel down and past the point of no return. But it gets better. Find a mantra that inspires you. Take one from the classic book (and movie) Annie. “The sun will come out tomorrow.” Anything that you can turn to in those dark moments to fan the flame inside you until it is back to full force. You CAN overcome any obstacle placed in your path. You just have to find the will and the way to do it. Good luck, and always remember that “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”