Do you ever have trouble going to sleep at night because you can't stop thinking about something that has no bearing on your life? I have, and as a writer for Odyssey, it's my job to tell you about the latest realizations I have in the middle of the night. Well, at least one realization I had in the middle of the night: Costume characters are terrible at being convincing towards little kids.

OK, think about it. Mickey Mouse is in Disneyland and Disney World. How are kids convinced that they're meeting the real Mickey? You can't use the excuse that he uses magic to get to both places, he can't have Santa Claus powers. Let's get even deeper. You can meet characters like Mickey, Donald Duck, or Goofy in multiple costume outfits. You can meet Sorcerer Mickey in a specific building at Hollywood Studios like all day, but then Mickey is also in the parades at the park in his regular outfit at the same time. If you brought your kid to the Sorcerer Mickey and then straight to the parade that's happening right outside, you'd see the other Mickey! Talk about screwing with a child's innocent little mind.

It doesn't stop there. You have those creepy Chuck E. Cheese dummies that are built into the ground that play music during kids' birthdays, but then a costume version of Chuckie comes out even though he's standing right in front of the stage where the dummy one is. What the hell is that suppose to mean? Are you supposed to pretend the one bolted in the floor is real until the costume version comes out? Were you always suppose to think the clearly fake dummy one was fake?

Then you have those town fairs where people dress as Bugs Bunny or Minnie Mouse and look nothing like the officially licensed costumes. Like, Bugs is in Six Flags and Minnie is apparently in California and Florida, so why the hell would the real Bugs Bunny or Minnie Mouse go to a random ass state fair in Kentucky? That wouldn't happen! No kid believes the fake ass Minnie was the real Minnie from Disneyland, so why would you ever decided to choose a popular character? Wouldn't you be pretend to be a no name dinosaur in a suit or something like that so you don't look like a suspect? Good thing nobody from Warner Bros. or Disney were at that fair or they would've sued your ass for copyright infringement.

Okay, I guess kids know that the characters are people in a costume. After all, I knew, but I still liked taking pictures with them when I was younger. I still felt like I was meeting the real character. Yet, there are kids who truly believe they are meeting their favorite cartoon characters, so why half-ass it? If you want kids to believe they're meeting the real characters, then make it convincing! Don't have two Mickeys out at the same time in one park! Don't use a bad imitation costume of a well-known character at a birthday party or block party, because it's gonna suck! Finally, try to come up with a better excuses for characters being in multiple parks at one time rather than having no answer.

I guess I gave this a little too much thought! Oh well, I guess this is what happens when I have too much time on my hands!