Sports were one of the biggest aspects of my life. From the time I could walk, I was always engaging in sports. From soccer, softball, and track, my schedule was always filled with games, meets, and practices.

By the time I got to high school, I knew my time playing team sports were coming to an end. I knew what I would miss. I would miss being out on the fresh-cut field waiting for the whistle to start an intense game against our school’s rival. The crack of the bat against my hands as I ripped the ball into the outfield.

The feeling of crossing the finish line after an exhausting sprint, nothing was comparable. I knew even before I stopped playing that I would miss this. However, I had no idea I’d miss the things I did not love.

While playing sports, the bus ride always seemed too far and too long. After a long day at school, I just wanted to put in work for the win at my games, and get right home. Looking back, the bus rides were where the team bonded; the inside jokes created. The celebrations and the heartbreaks of games always came out on the bus rides. Then they seemed too long, but I’d give anything to have another with my teams.

“Get on the line” is probably the worst thing a coach can say to an athlete. Knowing suicides are your life for the next ten minutes makes any athlete want to quit. I never knew that I would miss doing them.

I miss the feeling of getting stronger each time I did them in practice. The fatigue I felt was just a sign of accomplishment. The happiness I felt when I was done and the encouragement of my teammates is something I wish I had stopped to take in.

Practices always seemed so routine to me. Every day after school I lugged my huge bag full of clothes and equipment down to the locker room just to make it out on the field on time. It was exhausting in all the different weathers. I remember being so happy when practices were canceled by the rain.

Now, I wish there had never been rain, so I could have had that extra time to really appreciate my sport. Of course, the games were the best part, but the journey to getting there is something I wish I hadn’t taken for granted at the time.

As a college student who no longer plays for a team, I watch those still in sports and long for another chance. Sure, there’s still pick up games and adult leagues, but nothing will ever be the same as doing a sport like I did when growing up. Now, I have to focus on so much more, other than just my sport. I put my heart and soul into those sports and it is something I will never forget nor do I regret.

While these aspects of being an athlete seemed so unwanted at the time, I wish I had known how much I would miss them. Never in a thousand years did I think that I would miss them but looking back, it was part of the best time of my life.