Alex: Almost a Big!

For those of you who aren't in a sorority or fraternity, one of the many perks of joining is getting your Big: someone who has been there for a while and (more or less) knows the ropes. Big/Little Week was probably the best week of my sorority experience, and I was the Little, wondering who, among all the potential Bigs, was the one showering me with gifts and writing me notes about how amazing she thought I was and how I was her perfect Little and how she was so proud to have gotten me.

As some of you may know, I joined my sorority really late in my college career. Most women who do this don't take Littles, and I didn't think I was going to take one, either: I didn't think I could handle that responsibility. But after our advisor asked me if I was going to run for our Executive Board--something I definitely knew I wasn't ready for--and I met the incredible new women coming into our sorority during recruitment, my mind changed: if our chapter advisor thought I could handle the monumental task of leading our sorority, then maybe I would be a good Big, after all. On top of that, I wanted to do what my Big had done for me when I came into the sorority: to be there for someone whenever she needed me and to be someone she knew she could count on.

Since there's a fair chance this article will be published before Big/Little Reveal, I can't actually give you all a name, but I can tell you this: the stars aligned, and I got a Little!

I had known well before I found out who my Little was going to be that I would love her no matter what, since all of the women coming into our sorority this semester are incredible.I had a weird jumble of emotions when I found out who I'd been paired with, though: I was extremely excited, but I was also really nervous. I had gotten to know everyone just a little bit instead of forming a deeper attachment to any one new sister, and I was so afraid that my new Little would be disappointed when she found out she had me because of that. Additionally, because I was closer to graduating than most of the other women taking Littles, I was worried she might think she wasn't going to get the same experience with her Big as all the other people coming in with her.

I wasn't about to let that happen.

I got to work assembling the items for her gift baskets, stalking her Facebook page to find out more about her than the info sheet provided to us (because that's definitely a thing that Bigs do!) In the process, I realized that she was even more amazing than I had originally thought. I couldn't believe that she was my Little! During a Facebook break, I scrolled through all the new members' posts about how they couldn't wait to find out who their Bigs were, and I started to realize something: we got all this information about who they were, and we got to bond with them for almost two weeks without them (really) knowing who we are as we make their gift baskets and wrote them little notes. All of us Bigs get to go into Big/Little reveal already loving them. They don't know who we are, but they've got some mystery person who adores them and just wants the best for them, and I think that's beautiful. When I was the one getting the baskets, I didn't think of it that way.

At least for me, I hope that my Little loves me too, eventually. She doesn't have to, but I know how much closer I feel to her just from looking through her photos on Facebook and reading the info sheet she filled out for me so I could buy her stuff. And even if she doesn't love me, that won't change the fact that I'm her Big, and if she ever needs me for anything, I'll be there for her. I'm still excited and nervous, but in a much different way than I was before. Before, I was nervous that I wasn't going to get a Little, or that I was going to be an awful Big. Now, I know I can be the Big my Little needs me to be, and I'll be sticking around for a bit after graduation, so it's not like I'm just going to disappear forever and leave my Little to fend for herself. I can't wait to do crazy, fun things with her, even if it's just sitting around in our PJs with ice cream making fun of a bad movie.

Now, I just want her to be as happy that I'm her Big as I am that she's my Little.

Asia: Three Littles Later...

I was initiated into Phi Sigma Sigma at the end of my freshman year of college: when recruitment came that Fall I knew it was too soon for me to be a Big. I was still asking dumb questions and I hadn't yet gained the appreciation I have now for my sorority, So, I waited...

The next fall I met my Little on the first day of recruitment. I recognized Emily as 'the girl who lived in my neighborhood' and I had seen her in passing for most of my life - I used to walk past her house with my dogs and talk to her dachshund, Maddie. So of course, that was what I brought up in our first conversation during formal rounds - unfortunately her dog had passed away the week before. Despite this tragedy and our awkward introduction, our friendship blossomed and I knew that she was destined to be my Little. I was the most obvious Big during Clue Week, I couldn't help watching her face as she opened her gifts. I had poured my heart into each day through a mixture of crafts and treats. When she finally unwrapped me on the night of reveal, I couldn't have been happier.

A few weeks later was her initiation and the box/paddle exchange. I slaved over her box, obsessed with making it perfect and hysterically soliciting my mother to help me paint it. When everything was over, I couldn't have been happier.

Over the past two years I have been able to watch Emily grow as a leader in this chapter and expand our family by taking her own Little, Katie, in the Fall of 2015. Being her Big has helped me grow as a mentor and a leader - preparing me to be the best Big possible to the two other women I welcomed into our family tree.

I took my second Little in Winter 2015, but unfortunately things didn't work out and she ended up disaffiliating less than a year later. It always breaks your heart when a sister leaves the chapter, but it hurts more when it's your Little. Even when you know it's not your fault, you wonder if there was anything that could have been done to change that woman's mind.

The following semester, Emily welcomed her own Little into our family and I became a GrandBig. That same semester I also took my third Little, Amelia.

I knew Amelia belonged in our family after our first discussion during recruitment. She was open and honest with me about why she was going through recruitment and I knew that she would find a home within our chapter. I was so excited when she ran home to us on Bid Day and I knew I would be her Big. Again, I slaved away crafting and putting together her gifts, while trying to write thoughtful notes for each day. Through reveal and the box/paddle exchange I felt blessed to be able to be a Big to two amazing women. Since then she has taken on leadership positions in our chapter and grown in confidence, becoming a woman I am so proud of. I am so excited to see her take a Little this Fall!

Being a Big is so much more than the presents and glitter - it's about being your Littles mentor and a sister that she can always rely on. It's about empowering her to run for Executive Board or Executive Council and encouraging her to make choices that our founders would be proud of. It's about telling her when she is wrong and standing up for her when she is right. It's about being a role model and letting her learn from your triumphs and your failures. It is an honor and a privilege to be a Big and I am forever thankful for the Littles in my life.

This is Our Story

We can't speak for every woman in our sorority, or even every other woman in our chapter, but it's probably safe to say that at least for us, our Littles have impacted our lives at least as much as we impacted theirs (or, in Alex's case, will eventually impact theirs). As Asia pointed out, taking a Little is a lot of work, but it is such a rewarding experience to see her grow and flourish in the chapter, eventually doing what Alex is doing now and taking on a Little of her own. Bigs and Littles don't have to be attached at the hip--although some are--but the connection they share is something special, even for the bonds sisters usually develop in a sorority. No matter how much we try to describe it here, it's something that defies words, and is something that really has to be experienced: our Bigs and our Littles truly are the family we choose, and the impact that has on our lives is spectacular.