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What Defines Success?

Addressing the stigma around being successful

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What Defines Success?
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As I am about to graduate, I have thought a lot about what defines success. Growing up, I always thought that I should make it to school everyday, get the best grades possible (even if it meant memorizing material to pass a test, not actually learning the material), going to a well-known college and involving myself in every organization possible and then graduating with a full-time job lined up with great pay and benefits in a city that everyone was impressed with.

This is what I thought I wanted because that’s what impressed everyone else, and it’s what everyone always expected from me. I felt like if I didn’t do these things, I was letting them down. I wanted people to be impressed. This is what motivated me to do better, but I realized that I wasn’t doing these things for me. Then I got to thinking, what do I want? This is what I thought I wanted but as time gets closer and closer to graduation, I realized that I was doing everything else for other people, not myself.

I don’t want to go to grad school.

College was expensive enough; I don’t want to pay for graduate school. I am also burnt out on school in general and am excited to start working. I wouldn’t even know what I would go to graduate school for. I have too many interests to be specialized in one thing. So, no. I don’t want to go to graduate school and that’s okay.

I don’t want a full time job yet.

While the idea of a full time job and having a steady flow of income sounds ideal, I’m just not ready. I just got out of school where everyday I had a routine. I get bored easily. I don’t want to have a routine 9:00 - 5:00 job where I know what I am going to do every. single. day. Most people only look forward to the time they get off and I don’t want a job like that. I just accepted an amazing part-time job where most of the work I do is on my own time and I get to travel. I have my whole life to work a full-time job so I want to take this time after graduation for myself and do things I want to do. I’ve never been more excited, and I want people to know that I am happy with my decision to wait for a full time job.

I don’t want to move to a city just yet (or maybe ever).

I always thought that being successful meant moving to a well-known city like Nashville or Los Angeles or New York. And while Nashville has always been my favorite city and maybe eventually I will move there, I am really happy living where I am now in Southwest Virginia. It’s closer to my family. It’s a beautiful area. I am surrounded by some of the best people I’ve ever known, and I know no matter what, I will always have a place here.

I don’t have to be making 6 figures just yet.

If I can financially support myself working a part-time job without struggling, that’s all I need. By having a part-time job, it also allows me to have another part-time job or even work on starting my own business. I don’t want to do the same thing every day, and this allows me to have a diverse range of jobs. Eventually, yes, I will need more money to support a family, and I completely understand that. Right now, that’s not my focus and I am happy doing things for me right now.


So what does being successful mean? What I’ve realized is that it’s different for everyone, but for me, I know now that it doesn’t matter what other people think I should do. I don’t need to do things to impress other people. I need to do what makes me happy, and that in my book is being successful.
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