You made empty promises;

Promises you knew you could never keep.

Somehow I believed you;

The truth I never did seek.

I hated seeing my father that way,

And at first, I actually felt sorry for you.

I had to hear my mother say she wanted to die.

Sure, you made a lot of money,

But we wanted something different, something truer.

I wanted to be able to trust you.

I said, “I miss my sober daddy.”

I began to starve myself,

But then I did the opposite.

I ran in a circle,

Unknowingly trying to destroy my body.

It must have been from the pain you caused,

But nobody’s blaming anybody.

I wanted to trust; I wanted to love,

But I couldn’t.

I forgave you, but only when I thought you were clean.

A year that lasted.

Peace.

But I know, right now, you’re probably just somewhere wasted.

You gave me your sin, your pain,

And now I can’t make it go away.

That night I wanted to kill myself,

To not exist, I thought of our family history.

I actually think about it more than I’d like to admit.

Sometimes I curse the day I was born;

Sometimes my pain feels infinite.

But really, I am just mad at you

For bringing me into this world.

How dare you! You knew your family’s history,

And still you made that choice, you let me be.

I suffer from my ancestors’ sin.

Their actions have caused my misery.

Their pain is my curse,