Something that I've noticed with this generation is that the way dating works has completely changed. These days you have to act like you don't actually like someone in order to get their attention. We're all afraid of being the person who cares the most because we're afraid of rejection, so we act like we don't care and we end up not getting what we want...the other person. We tell each other that we're not ready for a relationship, but we don't want each other to be with anyone else. We don't know how to communicate anymore. Instead of asking questions, we make assumptions based off of things that we see on social media and how long it takes the person to text us back. If they don't text us every second of the day, suddenly they don't like us as much as we thought because we don't have 100% of their undivided attention. We settle for "talking" or "having a thing" because we don't want to deal with the commitment of being in an actual relationship, but we're not allowed to date or talk to other people. What happened to knowing your worth and not settling for less than what you want and deserve?
Why would you deal with someone who isn't ready to commit to you when there's someone out there who's ready for the same thing you are? What's wrong with waiting? Why has this way of dating become the norm? Dating has become a thing of just being with someone to be with them, but not actually enjoying and understanding the person and the relationship that you're in. People have become comfortable with "Netflix and chill" rather than going on an actual date and talking face to face. Rather than calling the person and actually leading a conversation with them, we text and use emojis to state how we feel. We've become comfortable with "no strings attached" when in reality, we have feelings for a person and we want to be with them, but they're not ready for a relationship, so we settle for the only way we can have them: "meaningless" sex. We don't say how we feel anymore; we get mad at the person we're "dating" and instead of telling them how we feel, we break things off with them based off of temporary emotions when in reality, the issue could probably be solved if we just communicated with the person about how we felt.
Settling has become a huge problem in this generation. We've become comfortable with being an "option" that we no longer know what it means to actually wait for someone who's actually going to treat us as the queens we are. As women, we've become comfortable with being a man's "sometimes" or "maybe", him only giving us the time of day when he feels like it. We've settled for waiting around for men who aren't ready for the commitment of a serious relationship to realize what they want. We fall in love with the idea that we can change a man and that if we stay with him through whatever issue he tells us that he is going through, he will change and that we will get what we've wanted all along: the "girlfriend" title. However, the reality is that we could still get what we've wanted all along if we didn't settle.
Something I've really learned is that no woman should ever wait around for any man to realize their worth. You're not his second choice, you're not one of his options. Know that you're worth so much more than that. Know that you're dope, know that you're a bad bitch, and know that you deserve the world. Know that your love is worth more than to settle for someone who only wants to share their time with you when they're bored, horny, or they've suddenly found the time. You're worth more than a 3am "You up?" or "Can I come over?" text. You're worth more "Let's Netflix and chill." and "I'm not ready for a relationship, but I want you and I don't want you to talk to anyone else." PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be someone who settles for less just because she doesn't want to be alone or because she thinks she can change a man because you can't. You shouldn't have to change a man. If a man wants to act right, he will. We've become so comfortable with settling for what men want to give us when it reality, we should wait for the men we really want, need, and deserve. Don't wait around for someone to realize what you're worth. Wait for the person who already knows your worth and doesn't question it. If someone wants you, they will pursue you and that's something you will never have to question.
We make dating so complicated when it's really simple. If you like someone, tell them how you feel. The worst that can happen is that they don't feel the same way and if they don't, move on. If you want more than sex with someone, tell them. If they don't feel the same way as you, DO NOT CONTINUE TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM. You're only making yourself emotionally distraught and you should love yourself more than that. If you don't want to be with someone anymore, be honest. Do not continue to lead someone on if the feelings are no longer mutual on your part because you would not want the same done to you.
One thing I've learned is that someone who wants to be with you will be with you. A man who is interested in you will wait for the effort. He won't make excuses for why he can't spend time with you. He won't ignore your calls and text messages. He'll spend time with you, listen to you, and support you. He'll be there for you when you need him. He will respect you, he won't question your worth, and he will protect you. He won't ever make you feel like you're not important and he will always make sure that you're good and you have what you need. For some reason, we tend to believe that if someone doesn't want us, there's something wrong with us. Someone's inability to see your worth is not your problem. Know your worth, know you what deserve, and know that you're not going to settle for anything less.
