Middle school is that awkward stage where no one really knows who they are or where they fit in. For me, middle school was where my biggest road block began. The struggle with self-harm is definitely one that will always be a struggle for those who experience it. My demon started in eighth grade and continued to haunt me on into the middle of my sophomore year of college. Knowing what I do about this disease, I know that 50 percent of those who begin the act of self-harm begin this around the age of 14 and continue it into their 20's. But this doesn't have to be a continuous issue.
Cont;nue may look out of place or like a mundane word. But for me, it's the word that has kept me going. I have a tattoo of this word on my wrist and the word is written in my younger sister's handwriting. My sister is 18 and she will be going off to college soon, but that will never change the fact that everything I do is to be a role model for her. The "i" in this tattoo is a semicolon, which means the author could've easily ended the sentence, but instead they decided it needed to keep going. Self-harm could have very easily been what ended my life (my sentence) but I chose to continue. My sister has always been my best friend, but aside from her, I would have never been able to get through this without leaning on Christ.
My six-year battle with this demon has been rough, and it has taken everything within me to not give up and to not give in. But my verse that keeps me going is Mark 5:34. This verse is a key verse in the story of the woman who had a bleeding disorder. She had been bleeding for 12 years before she was finally cured. She had gone to every doctor she knew of and she couldn't find a cure or even an answer to her problem. But then she learned about this man named Jesus who was the Mighty Healer and could fix anything that made her sick. As Jesus was passing through her town, thousands of people gathered around him, but that never once stopped her from getting close to Him. As she got closer to Jesus, all she wanted was to touch the bottom of His cloak. As she did, he felt the power that had left His body and cured the woman.
Jesus then asked, "Who touched me?" and everyone around Him looked at Him as though He was crazy. They explained that there were thousands of people pushing and shoving around Him, so what made Him think He would be able to know who touched His cloak? But the woman stood up and told Him it was her. Jesus walked to her and said, "Daughter, your faith has made you whole. Go and be freed from your afflictions," and she was cured. This verse, along with my tattoo, have shown me that no matter what you're given in life, you have to press on and continue with determination because your faith has made you whole and freed you from all you afflictions.
