College is a learning experience in a million ways. During your first year you meet a million new people - from the flurry of introductions during orientation to living with a stranger in a tiny double, joining new clubs and building romantic relationships. These social interactions are one of the most important aspects of college. They allow you to grow and learn from people with different life experiences and afford you the opportunity to find your people. The following are eleven things that I've learned about the effects of living in a bubble, college romance and finding the friends that will last in my two years of college.
1. You will miss your high school friends but the ones that are meant to be will last. When I got to college, I felt like I would never find friends that I would be as close to as my high school friends. It felt like they understood me and my past in a way that my college friends never would. But what I've learned over the last two years is that my college friendships may be different from my high school friendships, but that's a good thing. They allow me to grow. And the high school friendships that are meant to be will grow with you.
2. You're in a bubble. I go to a small liberal arts school. When you go to the dining hall, you always see someone you know. This is a good thing in many ways, but it can be a challenge in relationships. Chances are, you'll see last weekend's dance floor make out in the dining hall on Monday. You'll have exes and former friends in your classes. It can be anywhere from hard to impossible to avoid someone, so you have to accept that fact early on.
3. You have 24/7 access to other people- which is a good thing and a bad thing. At college, there are no curfews. There are few rules. If you need someone to talk to at two in the morning, you can knock on your friend's door down the hall. You can sleep in your significant other's room. Constant contact can be hard for an introvert, but it comes with living on a college campus and it will change the way you form relationships.
4. Relationships move faster. Because you can see people more frequently, it compresses the time it takes to reach different points in a relationship. You can eat three meals with your significant other in three days, you can sleep in their room without having to get your parent's permission. In college, a six month relationship can pass in the way a relationship twice as long would outside of the college bubble. You get to know people so much faster with constant contact that your relationships will develop and become more meaningful much more quickly than they did in high school.
5. It's okay to experiment and not know what you want. College is a time to explore, including in relationships. You may want a long term relationship, you might want to go on dates with different people without a major commitment, you might want to hook up with no strings attached. And all of those things are okay. You don't need to feel guilty for the choices you make.
6. Your people are out there, but it may take a little while to find them. Don't expect to make best friends for life in the first month of school. You probably won't be instant best friends with your roommate. You may meet people during orientation that you never talk to again. Clubs, classes and social events will allow you to explore different social circles. The friends for you are out there, but you won't find them immediately.
7. Not every friendship will last. In the process of finding the right friends, you will lose friends. You will grow and learn and that means the friends you make first semester may not be the friends you have forever. Friends might enter romantic relationships and grow away from you, you might leave a club and lose the friends you met through it. But you will find the friendships worth maintaining.
8. You need to end toxic relationships. In college it is easy for relationships - romantic and friendships - to get out of hand. You're in a bubble with constant access to other people and relationships can grow to take over your life if you don't set limits. Ending relationships is hard but if a relationship having a detrimental effect on your health, academics or self esteem, you need to end it. Its not being selfish to protect yourself. Take care of yourself.
9. It's a learning experience- don't expect it to be perfect. Relationships are messy. You'll have toxic friendships, bad breakups and fights. You'll grow away from people and figure out what kind of person you are and what kind of person you want to be friends with. There will be bumps along the way, but it's all a learning experience.
10. Hindsight is 20/20- you have to accept and learn from the past to grow in the present. Everyone has regrets. Looking back, there are decisions I would change, relationships I would avoid and fights I would resolve differently. But I know that hindsight is 20/20 and I have accepted my mistakes and done everything I can to learn from them so I can have better relationships in the now.
11. Everyone has something to teach you. You'll meet a lot of people in college, and it is one of the best places to learn about the world. You will be surrounded by people with different life experiences and every one of them has something to teach you. Be open to what everyone has to give you and you will learn from every relationship.
College is a new environment and it allows the chance for new relationships, growth and learning. You will learn from the people around you, from the relationships you build and through those you will learn about yourself.
