Thank the Lord! Catholic high school is over, and you’ve embraced the new and improved world of college.
As time goes on, you are becoming more well-rounded, and you’ve never felt so free from the previous four years that sheltered and shaped you. The present is here and the future is quickly approaching, but it never hurts to take a little trip down memory lane.
So, let’s spill the beans, and most importantly, the controversial thoughts that all Catholic high school students can relate to, and the laughable truth that public high school students have longed to hear.
1. If sleep and appearance were fighting head-to-head, sleep would win.
Don’t think that I can brush my teeth, put my uniform on, grab a quick breakfast and be out the door in less than 10 minutes? Try me. The early bird may get the worm, but the late riser gets those precious extra minutes of sleep.
2. You become a pro at driving.
Unless you’re lucky, chances are that your school and your friends aren't located in the same town as you. Time to save up that gas money because as you become the king or queen of the GPS, only dark, narrow back roads and traffic-filled highways will be in your sight.
3. You become more informed about the state that you live in.
Oh, hey! You’re from that town, right? That’s near the water? Wait, you live upstate? With all the trees? No big deal, but you’re practically on the road to becoming a geographer.
4. You are taught the delusion that Catholicism is the correct religion.
Wait, there are other established religions out there? The people who believe them are happy? Wow, I guess after being told for four years that Catholics are here to conform the perfectly content nonbelievers in order to change the world, they failed to mention that. Because you know, it’s our way or the highway.
5. You believe that you are better than public school kids, when you definitely are not.
Reality check: simply paying for your education and surrounding yourself with those who share the same faith as you does not make you any better of a person. There’s genuine, intelligent, athletic, artistic and funny people everywhere, no matter the type of academic institution you attend or religion that you believe.
6. From freshman to senior year, you become a master interrogator.
Oh, you think women should not be able to become priests? What will happen when there are not enough men to serve? Will you let them marry? What about the nuns? Will you shut them out like the gays? You know, dinner talk.
7. You learn how to live comfortably in an uncultured bubble.
Yes, proceed to tell me that there are people suffering and that we need to combat racism to my predominately white classroom. Yes, I went there.
8. Over time, you learn how to avoid being reprimanded for violating the dress code.
Want to know where to roam the school peacefully and in imperfect uniform? Just ask the girl with the untucked shirt and the rolled skirt and the boy with the loose tie and the missing blazer. They’ll lead you in the right direction, you rebel, you.
9. You are taught to respect the upperclassmen.
Jealousy. It fumes in the freshmen and sophomores as they watch the juniors and seniors benefiting from their well-earned privileges. Don’t worry underclassmen, your time for eating lunch outside, having more electives, being able to drive and using your free periods to come to school late and leave early are just around the corner. Soon enough you will be able to flaunt and embrace them just like your respected elders.
10. You notice how your Catholic high school asks for money in not-so discrete, secretive ways.
That donation slip that just so happened to end up at my grandfather’s house? Nice try Catholic high school. I see right through you.
11. You learn discipline.
I’ll admit it. I am now a pro at following directions. “Tuck in your shirt!” “Yes ma’am.” Gotta keep that uniform on fleek if you want God to love you.
12. Despite the uniform, you learn the name brands.
When the uniform consists of pastel oxfords and boat shoes, you know people will find a way to promote their social class on their sleeve. Sorry Vineyard Vines, but after seeing you everyday, it's time for you to go.
13. You learn how to conquer the art of filling up any empty space on a test, quiz or assignment.
Due to my strong Catholic faith, I have come to the realization that helping others is good, and that we are all called to do so, which is expressed in Jesus’ teachings that can be found … You know what they say: when in doubt, bless it out.
14. Whether or not you went to Catholic high school, you learn that you are not alone.
Figuring out life during your developmental years can be a challenge, but no matter what school you attend or your religious affiliation, we are all in it together.
