We all know those people who always seem to be in a relationship. Whether you criticize them or commend their commitment of consistently having significant others, we’re all secretly a little jealous. I mean, come on...does anyone really enjoy the painful “casual dating” scene, or awkwardly lying to a creepy guy at the bar by telling him you and your roommate are actually lesbians just so he’ll go away? (Disclaimer: not always proven to work.)
Regardless, count me out.
Coming from someone who, for a while, never seemed to be single for longer than five minutes, the thought of being on my own after my breakup last February was a pretty intimidating concept to grasp. Little did I know, at the time, that the next year of my life was about to be one of the biggest learning and growing experiences that no professor, parent or friend could ever teach me.
1. It's perfectly OK to be alone, and to enjoy it.
There comes a time in almost everyone’s lives where they will get married and have children, but why rush it? Your early 20s are your time to gain some independence and learn how to be on your own before you dedicate yourself to someone else. It's not like you couldn't get a boyfriend if you tried—you simply just enjoy the freedom that comes with the territory of being young and single.
2. But it's also OK to miss having someone from time to time.
Just because you are content with being alone does not mean you’re never allowed to acknowledge your desire to have a significant other, nor does it make you any less of a person because of it. Whether you miss having someone to cuddle and watch movies with, go out on dates with, or simply miss enjoying the company of someone you care a great deal about, it's OK to want those things. However, there’s a difference between wanting to be in a relationship and looking for a relationship. The best things always come to us when we’re least expecting them.
3. You appreciate those around you more.
When you’re in a relationship, you put your significant other before a lot of people. While that is not necessarily something to be shamed for, you do run the risk of missing out on those unforgettable (OK, maybe somewhat forgettable) Friday nights out at the bars with your college friends who are more than likely going to be in your life longer than your current man, or spending the day with your mom, who misses you like crazy. When you’re single, you take the time to truly appreciate the people who never leave your side just a little bit more.
4. You know who is worth your time and who is not.
While the thought of doing the whole dating scene all over again doesn’t sound too thrilling, it may not be as painful the next time around. Giving yourself time to be on your own will help you determine what kind of person you want to see yourself with in the future. No one likes wasting their time on guys with no aspirations in life (or any intentions of calling you for that second date), but, luckily, your newfound ability to weed out the bad ones has never been so easy or effortless.
5. You have your guard up.
Being single in college can be quite the experience--one that teaches you it's in your best interest to keep guys at a distance. While not everyone has bad intentions, the fear of becoming attached and letting your guard down for a guy who may no longer be interested next week is too real in the mind of a single girl (or maybe just me). That being said, it's much easier to keep things casual if you're not looking for anything serious.
6. You don't need a relationship to be at your best.
This is the cardinal rule. We as individuals are not defined by our significant others. While they may "bring out the best in us," that certainly doesn't mean that we can't bring out the best in ourselves either. Having the opportunity to put all of your focus on bettering yourself is not selfish, it's necessary.
7. You're allowed to screw up once or twice.
Whether it's a rebound, a random hookup after a night out, or just poor judgement about an individual, there comes a period of time where we're all going to make decisions that reflect poorly on our characters. The beauty of this situation is that it will be OK. Will you be embarrassed? Of course.Does it define who you are going forward? Absolutely not. Some of the decisions I have made over the past year are called mistakes for a reason. However, they have helped me in realizing my worth and refusing to let those choices negatively impact my mentality. As long as we learn from our regrets, then they're not really regrets, right?
8. There is someone out there for you.
It's sounds so cliche, but it's so true. Embracing the single life has been the biggest blessing and curse throughout my final year of college. The lessons I have learned over the course of this past year have helped me grow and realize the many pleasures life has to offer, regardless of my relationship status. So, to all my single ladies, take pride in your independence, and just enjoy the ride.
