Well, guys and gals, as Black History Month comes to a close, I decided to do something little different for this week. I took the time to interview friends and family about what being black means to them. I asked them a series of questions and each question had its own variation depending on who I was talking to.

The questions were personal and intimate, and I feel incredibly honored that they allowed me to find out more about them. The subjects of my interview are my friends Marland and Danny, who I've known for a decade (a good reminder that we're getting old af), my editor, Trease, and my dad, John.

1) When did you first realize you were Black? Obviously, I'm sure you were aware that you were a different skin tone than others, but when did you realize that your blackness could cause people to have a negative reaction towards you?

Marland

: "It hit me all the way back when I was in first grade. I went to school in Pelham which was predominantly white. At the time in a class of about, let’s say, 20 kids, there were only 3 black kids -- me being the third when I entered the class. And off the bat, it hit me that things would be different. It wasn’t anything too crazy or too racial, but the little things. Most of the kids were actually really nice but you had the ones who wouldn’t say hi. Or give mean looks when they didn’t even know me yet as a person. Would even react in a weird way if our arms slightly grazed when rushing to be line leader. It was definitely then, at that young age, I realized I was black."

AS: Being that you were so young, do you think those kids learned those behaviors from their parents?

Marland

: "Without a doubt. Nobody is born with racial qualities. You're born pure. Those types of behaviors don’t develop in the womb. And it’s not to say it’s the parents saying “don’t talk to black people” it’s from everyday situations that kids pick up on from their parents. Seeing how they react to black people, they will do the same, hearing how they talk about black people, they will talk the same. It starts from the parenting. At that age, kids are still learning what’s right and what’s wrong, and to them, if their parents are doing it, it’s not wrong, it's not wrong, so they feel they can be the same way, too."

Danny: "In all honesty, I feel like I’ve always known I was black at least as far back as I can remember. When I was very small, maybe four, I had a best friend named Tatiana and she was white. I knew we were different shades so I think that’s when I realized the difference."

AS: Did anything negative regarding your race happen when you were younger or when you got older?

Danny: "Yes, it was actually one of the first times I felt racism to an extent. Marsh and I were in Pelham playing on the street waiting for our friend Susannah to get home. Pelham is a mostly white town, but I didn’t think anything of it. Someone called the cops on us for some reason and two cop cars pulled up and asked us what we were doing there, and searched us and our bags. Luckily, Susannah and her Dad were home to prove to the cops that we knew them and weren’t lying about why we were there."

AS: How old were you guys?

Danny: "Maybe 14 or 15."

AS: That’s insane especially since a lot of people assume since we grew up in NY, a lot of issues like that don’t exist.

Danny: "Yea, I know, but that was a crazy moment. That’s the first time I felt like I was being racial profiled. Black boys in a white neighborhood. They took us to Susannah’s house to see if they knew us to check our story. I’m so happy they were home and her dad told the police we were friends of his daughter because I don't know what would’ve happened."

Trease: "The first time I realized I was black was in the third grade when the little white girl who was my best friend told me that her father told her she couldn't play with me anymore because I was black."

AS: But she was fine with you before then? How did that make you feel?

Trease: "Up until that point, we'd played together every single day! To make matters worse, her dad was a pastor at one of the local churches. I was devastated. It angered my parents, but they weren't the least bit surprised."

John: "My first recollection of racism occurred in 1979 when I was on a tour bus as a roadie for a band. We were on our way back to New York. We all got hungry and decided to stop at a restaurant in Virginia, I believe. It was about 5:00 PM on a summer day. The only white person with us was the bus driver. So, as we got off the bus, all of the lights inside and outside the restaurant shut off. When we got back on the bus, all of the lights came back on."

2) The "talk" is pretty big among black parents and their children. When they discuss how to behave around police to remain as safe as possible. Did your parents ever have that conversation with you?

Danny: "Absolutely, but it was never really like a race thing. It was just so we wouldn’t get arrested or in trouble, but even though she never said it, I believe she had that in the back of her mind and that was the real reason she was telling us to listen and do what they say. My mom works for a police precinct so she always told us how to interact with cops."

Marland

: "They didn’t actually. Not once. I’m assuming because growing up, these things weren’t happening as frequently as it is now. In general, my parents raised me to be respectful always, to other adults, to law enforcement, just in general. So I always knew how to react or at least I should say the proper way to react and conduct myself."

AS: Danny, you told me yesterday there was a time you and he got pulled over last year when all those police shootings were happening. Were you scared?

Marland

: "It was 50/50. Part of me wasn’t because I knew I was going too fast and when I saw the cop I knew he realized. I even pulled over before he even put his lights on, so in my mind at least he knew I was cooperating. The other half of me was a little scared. I was very cooperative and nice and made his job easy for him, but with everything that's was going on at that time, I still kept in the back of my mind that this whole situation still has a chance of taking a complete 180 just cause we’re black. I made sure I reacted and responded to the officer in every way to make sure that didn’t happen, or if it did that I knew I had a case to beat with how I was approaching the situation."

AS: Trease, did you ever have "the talk" with your son?

Trease: "Yes! As a matter-of-fact, a piece that I submitted on Medium through Coffee House Writers was syndicated on Scary Mommy on January 9th: http://www.scarymommy.com/raising-black-son-cursed..."

AS: Dad, you grew up during The Civil Rights Movement, did Nanny ever talk to you about being careful in certain situations?

John: "No, she never did because, at the time, Mount Vernon was a multicultural environment. There were black business owners working next to white business owners. As was there both races living on the southside next to each other."

3) Given the current political state, what does it mean to be black in America and how can we prevail during these trying times?

Marland

: "To be black in America means we have to be smarter and more united than ever before. We have to be more supportive of each other and help build each other instead of bringing each other down. That’s how we can prevail during this time frame. We can’t be ignorant. And even though we don’t have it as bad as the Latino or Muslim community does, considering that’s who the “president” has attacked since somehow getting in office, we still have to be smart and keep our guard up with how we react to certain people and situations, like the police, or asshats that think they have power over us cause of said “president”. We have to simply think before we react."

Danny: "In all honesty, to me, being black in America means being mentally strong. In this current state it means we gotta be strong, it means we have to move forward. Being black in America was never an "issue" task. There was never a period in America where being black was an advantage or amazing. Black people have been struggling for years and we have been progressing through it but we aren’t where we want to be. Progress is a slow process and we must remain strong and shed the hate and the stereotype that is thrown at us and get better and march on.

Being black in America also means being compassionate, at least to me. As a black man, I know I face certain uphill battles other races do not and I also know there are battles other races go through that I don’t, but because of the uphill battles with issues like racism, that’s more of a reason we need to be there for others. There are plenty of people who go through it because of the color of their skin and as a race of people who’s been through it for so long, we have to make sure we are there for those people as well because we know what it’s like and we should know not to do it to others."

Trease: "Living on the strength, stamina, and determination of our ancestors, I refuse to allow the current climate of this country drag me down. This is my country just as much as it is anyone else's. I plan to carry on with the fulfillment of my dreams, and I will see them to fruition."

John: "In the past, while growing up, I didn't delve into political, social or equal rights kind of conversations with the people I grew up with. We just lived for the day. As I got older, I realized that there were, and still is, inequality between the races and that the old adage that blacks have to work twice as hard as whites, is blatantly true. And it's not because they're smarter than us. It's just that they make the rules and they feel that they have the upper hand. So, being black in America is a privilege, an honor, a responsibility to myself and my family to be just as strong and as caring for my race just like them."

4) And lastly, what does being black mean to you?

Marland

: "It means that I’m a part of history, that I’m a part of a rich culture. It means I’m a part of a group of amazing and strong and powerful people. To mean it truly means everything. In my eyes being black is a blessing. It’s not a curse or a burden. It’s something special. It’s amazing being a part of such a beautiful a blessed culture. I always was, and will always continue to be proud of my skin and the history behind it! I’m damn proud of who I am and always have been since I was a child. my skin color doesn’t determine who I am as a human being. But I know that it comes with a lot of challenges, and I accept all of them. Challenges on being accepted, challenges on proving that we’re’ more than just a stereotype. I love being black. I love being West Indian, I love my culture and the history behind it. Regardless of what most is black people go through in life. I wouldn’t change being black for a damn thing. It’s a part of what makes me, me!"

Danny: "Being black to me means everything. If nothing else I’m proud and black. I’ve never resented the fact that I was black. I know it can be challenging at times and might not be beneficial at certain times but being black is all I know and all I want to be. To be black means being strong. Being black means to never give up. We have been fighting since we got to this country and although the progress has been slow we are tenacious people and we will always move forward and fight for ours."

Trease: "My favorite things about being black is having that built-in-grit. It means I know how to survive. It means I know how to make anything work regardless of the circumstance because that's what my people have to do."

John: "It's knowing where you came from. Know your self-worth, understand your obstacles and stay steadfast and sure of your life plans to move past them. Never let your guard down, be strong and diligent. It means to always stay proud of your people, even the ones that continue to allow mental, social and economic slavery to dictate and define them."

Thank you again, to Marland, Danny, Trease, and my dad for contributing to this article.

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH!