On November 2, 2010, I was blessed to become an aunt. My niece, Mya, has had such a positive impact on my life, I wouldn’t be the person I am today without her.
I was lucky enough to grow up living under the same roof as my niece for the first 3 of her life, and that’s what had had the biggest impact on me. My sister had the support of both of my parents, my brother, and myself to help her raise her baby and those 3 years were some of the best of my life.
Being a 15-year-old high school freshman when she was born, and learning what it takes to care for a newborn helped me grow up. If it isn’t already obvious to everyone how difficult taking care of a baby can be, I can vouch for this statement and say it isn’t easy. There are valuable lessons one learns from this.
Being an aunt has taught me patience. Throughout all stages of my niece’s life, patience has been an essential part of helping take care of her and assisting in her growth. The hours of screaming that took place while she was a baby to the constant “testing” to see just how much she can get away with, would get frustrating at times. But the look on that little girl’s face when she sees something that excites her, or the way her eyes squint when she laughs, or even just the sound of her actual laugh, make any frustration that I have ever felt melt away instantly.
Being an aunt has taught me to appreciate the little things in life. Life has gotten progressively more complicated for me in the last few years. There is the constant worry of schoolwork, financial obligations, work, and future responsibilities on my mind. But simply spending an afternoon with my niece puts everything back into perspective for me. Whether it’s playing “Don’t Break The Ice” over and over again until she finally wins, or listening to her sing along to songs that play on the radio, reciting every lyric (which will always impress me), truly makes me appreciate things more. As a 20 year old college student, having the opportunity to experience life through the eyes of a 5-year-old simplifies life and is settling.
Being an aunt has taught me to be a role model. A bit of responsibility comes with being an aunt. You need to be able to filter what you say, monitor the tone in which you say things, and act in a way that demonstrates the “right way”. My niece looks up to me, and if she were to hear me use inappropriate language or treat people disrespectfully, there’s a good chance she would reciprocate my behavior. I want my niece to grow up being a respectful, smart young lady, and I need to be a good influence on her.
Being an aunt has taught me the importance of laughter. I have gone to extreme measures to get this little girl to laugh. Seeing her upset is one of the absolute worst feelings, and seeing her laugh is one of the best. I have made funny faces, “accidentally” hurt myself, made noises, anything humiliating to get a laugh out of this kid, and for what? Because laughter is that important and makes people feel that good.
Being an aunt has taught me how important it is to be present, no matter how far away you are. I am from a small town in central New Jersey, and I go to Syracuse University, which is roughly four hours away. I am not around unless I am on a school break, and keeping in touch can be difficult sometimes. But, a simple phone call, text to my sister for her to relay to my niece, or even a letter for Mya in the mail are ways to stay present in her life, and to remind her that even though I am not around as much, she is just as important in my life as she was when we were living under the same roof.
Being an aunt has taught me to say yes whenever I am able to. 5-year-olds don’t ask for much; the most they will ask for is for you to play a game with them, or to buy them a toy or a treat when you take them out to run errands. Saying yes to such simple requests brightens their entire day, and I have found I don’t even enjoy saying “no” to Mya.
Being an aunt has taught me to keep my promises. The look of disappointment that crosses kids’ faces when they are led to believe something is happening, and then it doesn’t, is devastating. If you tell a kid you are going to take them somewhere, actually take them. If you tell a kid you are going to do something with them, actually do it. Don’t get their hopes up to just tear them back down, because what might seem like a little promise to you is something they may remember forever.
Being an aunt has taught me to challenge her. It’s very easy to just do everything for her; it would take a lot less time for me to tie her shoes, put on her jacket, clean up her toys, or even close Ziploc bags for her (a new found ability of hers). But she will not learn that way; she needs to be challenged. Challenging her is what is going to help her grow up into a strong, independent woman.
Being an aunt has taught me how fun it truly can be to spoil another person. There’s nothing like buying yourself something nice, or having someone else buy you a gift. But when you have a niece, the joy it brings you to spoil them is a feeling like no other. Without realizing, I have spent hundreds of dollars on the pinkest, frilliest items because they’re her favorite, and I just love to see her smile.
Most importantly, being an aunt has taught me the meaning of unconditional love. I know what it is like to love people, and how to love people in different ways. I love my family and friends very much, and have even been in love once before. Until my niece was born, however, I had never experienced unconditional love. Unconditional love; it’s not only a feeling of care, but also a feeling of protection. Looking at someone you take responsibility for and feeling that you would do absolutely anything for them, and with them. You would make an absolute fool out of yourself if that meant making them happy, or keeping them safe. They are your #1 priority.
Looking forward to the years to come with my fellow Scorpio, diva, best friend and niece. I love you, Mya Lynn.
