Everyone in college faces a problem that affects the contents of our wallets. The strict budget we're given does not leave a lot of wiggle room to have fun with. However, it's through this dilemma that we find our best friend; the less expensive section of the liquor store.
1. Keystone Light.
We all know and love Keystone Light. I mean, let's face it, it will be served in large volumes at your favorite fraternity, even though the taste is less than desirable. Keystone Light is a staple for the perfect college experience on every campus. If you drink Keystone Light, then you're probably one of those students taking that folklore class because, "oh man, it fills an Arts and Humanities requirement. I have to take it!" If Keystone is truly your favorite, I salute you.
2. Busch Light.
You peaked, man. Honestly, quit reliving the glory days where you played that one sport that you were kinda, sorta good at. You should probably take off the vintage letterman jacket and retire those letters. If you were to tell me that Busch Light (BL Smoothes, Busch Lattes, etc.) is your favorite, then I would suggest you put away the senior year yearbook and go out to have a Keystone. Please.
3. Pabst Blue Ribbon.
There are two types of people who drink PBR. First, we have the country folk. These people are honest, red, white and blue stone cold Americans. They drink PBR to cherish what this country was founded on. So, turn up the Trace Adkins, open a cold one and let the dad bodies come out to play; it's their time to shine. Awkwardly sipping a PBR in the corner of the party, we have ourselves the second type of person who drinks PBR: the hipster. The hipster drinks PBR in spite of his best friend who drinks literally anything else. So hipster, let your freak flag fly...but maybe consider buying a craft beer, you actually might enjoy it.
4. Hamm's Special Light.
What? No, I’m sorry, I must not have heard you correctly. Excuse me? You mean to tell me people CHOOSE to drink this?
5. Natural Light.
Natural Light is Keystone's younger brother, who is trying way, way, way too hard to be Keystone. Natty Light is the kid in your speech class that asks the outlandishly hard questions during the Q&A session. Natty Light just makes me clench my fists and wonder why people want to watch the world burn. If the infamous Natty Light is your favorite, you were probably that try-hard during rush that made me feel uncomfortable.
6. Icehouse.
I don't want to run into you in a dark alley. Most likely you're a serial killer, and you have no emotions or taste buds. The sheer harshness that is Icehouse is only meant for the mentally unstable. If a friend ever says, "I could go for an Icehouse right about now," please, vacate the area and phone the authorities. You'll thank me later.
