It’s easy to compare your height to the person standing next to you, and it’s safe to assume the drive to the grocery store will take around the same amount of time each trip. But it is not easy to compare your anxiety to another’s, and it’s not safe to assume that they way you feel in any given situation is the same exact way someone besides yourself would feel.
The definition of anxiety is, “distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune." While I do agree to this, ‘anxiety’ has other sides to it, at least in my life.
To me, anxiety means that that one little impulse decision I make will occupy my thoughts for the next 24 hours. It will consume all of my thoughts and attention and even take over my body to the point that I might feel as if any movement is just going to make things worse.
To me, anxiety means that sometimes my relationships will, unfortunately, suffer because of the constant thoughts and worries that take over my life. When anxiety takes over your body, and sometimes feels like it’s shutting everything down, it is hard for those to understand what’s going on inside. My mouth feels like it has been sewn shut. And when I do find the strength and reason to blurt some words out, they often come out in the form of snapping, and no one enjoys being snapped at.
To me, anxiety means that sometimes tasks I’ve been doing for years, such as driving, bring on more of a burden than they’re worth. Suddenly, being behind a wheel doesn’t bring you as much freedom as it once did when you were 16, now it just brings a daunting string of thoughts through your head as you maneuver the steering wheel to get to your destination.
To me, anxiety means that I am tuned to assume the worst possible situation/option. Whenever I hear or something misfortunate happening to anyone around me, I automatically assume the worst and let those thoughts take over my mind for much longer than anyone would ever think. And when I say misfortunate too, I’m not just talking about things that could be detrimental, I am talking about something as simple as their phone dying and being unable to respond when I’m not sure where they are.
To me, anxiety means that I often lose myself due to unwarranted thoughts and worries. At times I forget what my normal self would do to ease my nerves because when anxiety takes over your body, things are no longer that simple. I forget about what I really want to do because anxiety and myself don’t typically have the same agenda.
To me, anxiety means that I always have a battle to fight.
