When people think, "ADHD" (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), the first thing that comes to mind is the little girl who got distracted because she saw a nickel on the street. They think of the little boy who has too much energy. The reality part of it is, ADHD affects a lot more. It affects all aspects in life. It affects learning, socializing, and independent living. Growing up with ADHD, I can tell you what it really feels like.
My mind is a mess, which makes it hard to stay organized. My car is always a mess. My room is always a mess. It's not because I'm a slob. I'll leave things on the floor and tell myself I'll pick it up later. Later turns into days, and even weeks. When I go back and try to clean it up, my brain gets overwhelmed. I don't know how to start or where to start. Papers are always floating around, my binder is a scattered mess of papers, things are always getting lost. I could have my phone with me and one second later it suddenly grew legs and disappeared.
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Holding conversations with people is hard. Sometimes I'll have something to say and forget about it when I'm about to say it. Sometimes I interrupt when someone else is talking because I have something on my mind that really needs to get out. Sometimes I'll be saying something and mid sentence I'll forget what I'm even talking about. Or I'll be talking about one thing and next thing I know I'm saying something completely different without even knowing I changed subjects. It's like, someone is in my head constantly changing the channel but there's no off button. I'll be listening to someone talk but at the same time I'm thinking too hard about what they're saying, how they're saying it, and why they're saying it all at once. Next thing you know, I've missed what they just said.
I'll be in class listening to a lecture. My mind suddenly dozes off and I start thinking about something irrelevant like dogs wearing party hats. The smallest sound can throw me off; the tapping of a pen, sharpening a pencil, voices in the hallway, phones buzzing, people whispering. It's all the background noise that's impossible for me to tune out.
Starting an assignment seems impossible. I want to start, but my mind doesn't know where to start. I'll have a great topic in mind, but I'll get distracted by the my phone lighting up and completely forget what I was doing. I'll try to read something, but after reading through something five times I still don't know what I've read because my mind somehow dozed off in the middle of reading. I can't focus on an assignment for more than five minutes because I get bored and my mind jumps from task to task.
It's like my mind is going in a million different directions all at once. Sometimes, I need to move to think. Sitting still is hard. I don't tap my fingers on my desk, shake my leg, or pace around to be annoying. I do it because my mind is going so fast, that I need to physically get it out of my system.
This is what ADHD is. It's not just an excuse for being lazy; it's a real thing. So, next time you meet someone with ADHD just remember that what I said is the reality of it. I consider it a blessing and a curse. It can be extremely hard to deal with, but it's definitely not impossible. As a matter of fact, people with ADHD can have extremely high IQ's and are just as capable as people without it.
