2017 began like no other year has before. It was how I have always pictured ringing in the new year; sitting on the couch, drinking champagne with my boyfriend and family, getting that New Year's Eve kiss everyone talks about and I was so excited for a new year. I was just coming off of a crazy semester at college two hours away from home, I had a car accident two months before that restricted me from driving for months and I had to drop a class because I was struggling so bad. I had to change medication multiple times because my wreck was caused due to them. I had started off 2016 at a new college and my first semester there I did really well, but I hated it. So needless to say, I was ready for a new year.

The very last week in January is when my University begins Spring classes, so I headed back to college and I was so ready for another semester. I loved my dorm and I was ready to continue to meet new friends. While classes were just beginning and I was meeting new friends, my relationship was ending and I was devastated. Three weeks into class, two hours away from home, trying to do homework, day before Valentine's Day and I am thinking my life is great and 2017 is going to be the best year yet, but I was wrong. After a long week, I picked myself up and got myself to go out and just apply for two jobs for the heck of it just to get my mind off of things. I ended up getting an interview and hired on the spot and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I had made.

While getting a job was so exciting to me, I wasn't myself, but I was trying to fake being happy around my new friends and co-workers because I thought I had to. Who would want to know what was really going on after only knowing me for a few weeks? Who really cared at that point? I made some decisions I know I can't take back and I'm still working on forgiving myself for them. I'm also trying to figure out who I was before my break up and find myself again because I don't like who it made me be. Sometimes I feel like myself again and other times I wonder who I even am when I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. I suddenly wanted the approval of others that I wouldn't have even of given a second look to before and it wasn't even that I wanted it, I thought I needed it. I was 19 trying to be 23.

2017 has honestly been the toughest and worst years I have ever had if I am being honest, but it made me learn a lot.

I learned you truly have to chose your friends wisely.

Not everyone you meet and that claims they want to be friends with you has your best interest at heart, but others will, and those people will make friendships for life.

Everyone goes through heartbreak, but don't let it change you. Let it heal you.

I went through the toughest heartbreaks I have had to go through this year and I let it change me as a person for the worst and if I could go back and give myself advice I would say that it is going to be okay, but to not let it change my outlook on life or people. Don't let it change who you are all because someone didn't see how great of a person you are, regardless of the amount of times they said they did.

It's okay to admit you need help sometimes.

Nobody is perfect. After my wreck and my medication was changed, I was told I had to see a therapist every couple months to check up to make sure my medication is right for me. I realize I talk about having anxiety to a handful of people, but not everyone really knows about how deep that and my depression really goes. It's okay to ask for help no matter what the situation is.

If you're not happy, change your situation.

I have had a roller coaster of a year where I had periods of time where I thought the old me was back, but I wasn't really there. I thought I was happy, but it was really a cover-up for something else.

Don't let the other people that have made you miserable know it, because then they win.

Giving someone else the satisfaction that they have hurt you is like a little kids game, but believe me, people still get satisfaction in it. Keep your head up.

Get a job and love what you do.

Getting a job at Sun Tan City was honestly the highlight of my year. I ended up being tossed around in the summer so my end result was I worked at four of them total, but I met some amazing people because of it and I am forever grateful for that. Whether it was my clients or my co-workers, I made some awesome friends and memories that I will never forget.

Think about your decisions before you do something.

This might seem like a no brainer for most, but some of the decisions I made in 2017 would tell you differently.If it sounds like a bad thing, it probably is, so just don't do it. Think twice. (This would be a perfect time to insert the laughing crying face and cringing emojis.)

Rely on God and trust Him through everything.

Unfortunately, I forgot about this quite a few times this year, but in light of me trying to find myself again, this aspect of me is coming back. God is THE ONLY thing in my life that is constant and I need to remember that always. He is always the same and never changing. He died for a reason and I need to make him proud instead of continuing to disappoint him.

All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the LORD laid on him the sins of us all. Isaiah 50: 6

Go above and beyond for others; even the ones that have hurt you the most.

I am trying really hard to remember that not everyone has the same heart or intentions as you do. While a part of me may of changed, my heart didn't and I will never stop caring about people that I have ever cared about; even if it was just once in my life. Whether it's at your job, hometown, apartment complex, wherever, help out, do something for a stranger, say something nice. It could make someones day.

Don't take anything for granted.

Whether it is time with someone, meeting new friends, seeing family members, cherish it. You never know when the last time will be the last time, I didn't.

You have to do what is best for you and not worry about the opinion of others.

In any situation where you need to put yourself first, do it. It's okay to be selfish sometimes and put yourself first, I promise.

2017 has taught me a lot of things and one thing I will never forget is that changing doesn't mean you aren't growing, you just have to be doing it for the better of yourself, not worsening yourself. Life is all about growing and learning who you are as a person. Find yourself. Find a great group of friends. Nothing is worth compromising your self worth and who you are.