We all dread the day we know is coming. For some of us, an injury, or even a cut from a team, makes that day come a little too soon. Some of us stop after high school, some after college, and very few people have the opportunity to go beyond that. But the reality is, no matter when that moment comes, you are never truly ready.
For me, it was in college. No injury, no cut- just a ticking clock that had been following me since freshman year. That clock always moved quickly, but when my final year came, it seemed to count down at triple the speed. Every experience I had was happening for the last time. Last preseason, last bus rides, last team hang outs. I became very aware of my impending retirement. Four years is all the NCAA gives you, and to be honest, they could have doubled that number and it still would not have been enough.
That metaphorical clock that I had been fearing became a reality when I looked at the scoreboard for my last game of competitive sports. As I blinked my eyes and watched the ninety turn to zero in what felt like an instant, my world came crashing down. Everything I had known from the day I kicked my first soccer ball was gone, just like that. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. My entire body was shutting down. It was like losing a lifelong friend.
And the sad truth is; that pain does not go away. You are going to find yourself at your old field and long for your former glory. You are going to pass intramural games and wish you could be that 5 year old encountering her first love for the first time again. And although it will happen less and less, you will find yourself thinking back to what your sport gave to you, and you will break down and cry.
But the more you do this, the more you will find comfort. Because although you can no longer charge the field for starting lineups, or tackle your team after big wins, there is one thing that can never be taken away- your teammates.
These people will be your friends for life. There is nothing more bonding than making it through two weeks of three a day sessions, or cramming 25 people onto a 6 hour long bus, or winning a championship you've worked towards for 4 years. The ones who found the same passion that you did. The ones who pulled you up when you were ready to quit. Just because your season ends, does not mean that their friendship does. And although there is no getting back what you had for so long, there is no losing what you will have forever. So be thankful for your memories, your scars, and of course, your team mates.
