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Relationships

If I were The Bachelorette

Step aside Jojo I'll show you how it's done.

Samantha Giordano

Aug 01, 2016

Kent State University

eonline

Come on, we are all guilty of being obsessed with the idea of love. And we're even more obsessed with watching people find love via ABC on Monday nights. Don't you ever wonder what it would be like to be the Bachelorette?

Cats, Cats everywhere.

The person I marry would obviously have to be okay living with 1-3 cats at a time. So when all the men arrive to win my heart the mansion will be blessed with the presence of about 20 friendly kittens and cats. Get those cat haters out of the picture early so it doesn't become a problem in the future. Also, I can picture a perfect group date doing cat yoga.

Pizza instead of roses.

Because roses wilt and pizza makes the soul happy. I can imagine it perfectly standing in a room full of drop dead gorgeous men until the whole box is empty. "Ben Higgins, will you accept this pizza my heart?" Has the perfect ring to it. This might become a problem when I blow ABCs budget on pizza because I will probably eat it all before I even get the chance to talk to the guys.

Meeting the family would come a lot sooner.

(No I don't mean my cat family I just love this gif) If I'm going to be frolicking around the world with a large group of attractive men my judgment is for sure going to be cloudy. My family is big and opinionated and if they don't like someone they will let me know and we can narrow it down from there.

I'd have hidden cameras in where the men live.

For two reasons: Reason number one is to see how the guys really act and react to living with others. I mean if we are getting engaged after this you better be able to live civil with other humans. Number two there is always that one guy that makes it pretty far in the house that has two completely different personalities and the guys always have to go to girl and she is always unsure this way I would know what was going down.

Drake instead of Chris Harrison

Just because I find Chris a little annoying. I know he's a staple of the Bachelor but every episode can't be the "most dramatic episode yet." Drake would be the perfect host for 3 reasons. Reason number one: he's sensitive and would really motivate me to make the right decision. Reason number two: he's hot but off limits (he and Rihanna are a perfect couple). Reason number three: a whole new viewing audience. Think about all the Drake fans who would start watching just because Drake is hosting. This is pure genius, you're welcome ABC.

And that my friends would be the best season of the Bachelorette you'd ever obsess with. Now I will just sit back and wait for ABC to be in contact with me.

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Recommended for you

If I were The Bachelorette

Step aside Jojo I'll show you how it's done.

Cats, Cats everywhere.

Pizza instead of roses.

Meeting the family would come a lot sooner.

I'd have hidden cameras in where the men live.

Drake instead of Chris Harrison

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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