From the Halloween marathons to the weekly Friday night movies, Disney Channel movies were many of our childhoods. Most of these movies like High School Musical became legendary and were movies that we were likely to watch even as we grew up. However, some movies were just plain strange and unsuitable for the young viewers of the Disney Channel. Let’s take a look at some of the weirdest movies the Disney Channel showed.
1. Halloweentown (the whole franchise)
This whole series is essentially about a girl who realizes that her mother has been hiding a huge secret from her and her siblings: she and her sister are witches. In the first movie, the three siblings travel to Halloweentown, an alternate universe full of skeletons, mummies, witches and vampires to find their grandmother. In the second movie, the Cromwell family travels back to Halloweentown to battle their mother’s ex-boyfriend who is trying to destroy the family. In the third movie, they set up an exchange program, where the teenage creatures of Halloweentown come to the real world for high school, and in the last one, the protagonist goes to college in Halloweentown. The plot is so strange with creatures that we hear about in myths coming to life, and the whole concept of it is not only creepy but completely inappropriate for the younger children who watch Disney Channel who were probably scarred for life once seeing the horrendous costumes from the movie.
2. The Thirteenth Year
In this movie, a boy finds himself transformed into a mermaid on his thirteenth birthday. He finds out that he was adopted by his parents when his birth mother, a mermaid, dropped him off onto their boat. Okay, what is not weird about that? First, there’s the fact that they chose to make the protagonist a boy when mermaids are perceived to generally be females (and trust me, they’re not trying to break down any gender barriers.) Second, the very plot itself just screams “We’re trying to be different!!” Sorry Disney Channel, but this was not the approach.
3. Smart House
I’m not going to lie, but I loved this movie just for its weirdness. A family creates a smart house where there is a holographic mom that makes whatever food you want and changes the settings and decorations of the house to match the residents’ moods. This was so cool to young, elementary school me, but looking back on it, the plot was strange. The holographic mom becomes jealous of the family and creates havoc in the house to trap them in. Not only is this the storyline for a bad horror movie, this probably scared thousands of kids about technology and maybe even their moms.
4. Quints
A girl feels like her parents put too much pressure on her, but this pressure is relieved when her mom has quintuplets (five children). The very idea of having five kids is quite weird as is the fact that the parents try to maximize their profit off of their kids by signing deals and having their kids model and endorse certain products. That is 100% not normal and not something that the kids on the Disney Channel had to see.
5. The Luck of the Irish
Similar to The Thirteenth Year, this movie follows a high school basketball player who loses a gold coin that is a family heirloom. Once he loses this, he begins his transformation into a leprechaun, as does his mom who shrinks to the size of a pencil. They find out that another leprechaun stole his coin, and they attempt to take the coin back. The mom has a weird, fake Irish accent, and the whole movie seems to be very stereotypical and cliché Irish.
6. Stuck in the Suburbs
A girl who’s bored in suburbia becomes involved in a mess involving cell phones and popular rock stars, and in the end she realizes that suburbia is not that boring and that she actually loves it. This one was probably popular for the older kids because it was relatable, but still, the very idea of this whole situation is weird.
7. Twitches
Two twin witches find each other after almost two decades of not knowing that the other existed. They find their mom in a mysterious other world and use their powers for the greater good. I loved this movie because of Tia and Tamera Mowry; I hated it because it was scary for young me with the ghosts and evil magic.
8. Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior
This movie was one of my favorites when I was growing up but was one of the ones that scared me to death. Wendy Wu, a popular high-schooler, is trained in an ancient Chinese martial art. While her family and friends are possessed by this evil demon spirit, Wendy trains until she can defeat the spirit. This movie was creepy because when the spirit took over a body, their eyes would become green and glowing, scaring me half-to-death. This and the fact that she fought a demon spirit was weird, scary and highly unsuitable for the younger viewers.
9. Read It and Weep
A girl writes in her diary, which is eventually published, and creates an alter-ego of herself: one that is popular, well-liked but also incredibly mean. This alter-ego starts to show up in her daily life and control her decisions. This movie was showing the need to fit in but was also addressing a neurological problem in the protagonist, which seemed fine when one was watching it at a younger age but now seems incredibly strange and inappropriate when you see it when you get older.
10. The Cheetah Girls: One World
Not only was this a horrible attempt to save a failing movie franchise, this movie epitomized cultural appropriation. The Bollywood dancing was horrible, the accents even worse and the outfits quite close to outrageous. I suppose that I only find it weird because I am Indian, but this attempt by the Disney Channel to be worldly and cultural failed epically.
Go back and watch all of these movies now, and try to tell me that you don’t feel any differently than I do.