Muscle twitches and tremors.
One night after being on Zoloft for about two weeks, I felt unable to control the sudden burst of activity in my right quad. My leg was twitching and jerking like crazy, and it lasted for a few days. I also had a flare up of eye twitching and calf spasms, but those went away pretty quickly.
No more tears.
Before Zoloft, I was a huge cry baby. Within the first month, I realized that I physically could not cry. I tried everything to invoke tears- sad movies, emotional fan fiction, even Adele's discography. Nothing could inspire anything more than a meager mist to gather in my eyes. I couldn't cry like a regular person until the fifth or sixth month of taking Zoloft.
Impaired vision.
My significant other and I had actually started Zoloft around the same time by coincidence, so it was nice to have a sounding board for all of my weird side effects. He and I both noticed that our vision had taken a turn for the worse over the course of the first two weeks. I found myself having to squint even with my glasses on, especially at things in the distance. This went away after about a month.
Worsened anxiety.
I was extremely on edge the first two weeks I began the drug. I think I was over analyzing every single side effect and letting it freak me out. I felt like I could feel the chemicals in my brain swishing around, rearranging the wiring in there. One morning, I woke up after a particularly colorful dream, and felt far too much brain activity going on for six am. I ended up suffering a full blown panic attack, possibly one of the worst ones to date, that morning. After the first three weeks, however, my anxiety slowly faded away.
Wild dreams.
My dreams went from simple, sometimes strange, but pretty average scenes to absolutely ridiculous, colorful, and frightenly realistic episodes. I would look forward to going to sleep every night to see what kind of show my brain would put on that evening.
No sex drive.
This one was a huge bummer for me, and something that my sweet, sixty-something year old psychiatrist probably felt too awkward to talk to me about. Before Zoloft, I had a very high sex drive. After, I was basically a nun. I noticed my libido decrease probably after two months on the drug, and didn't get it back for about six whole months. I wasn't repulsed by the idea of sex, nor did I avoid it, but it just didn't occupy as prominent a space in my mind anymore. I'm glad that my partner and I were both on Zoloft, because we were both temporarily neutered together.
No orgasms, either.
This goes hand in hand with #6. Not only was I less interested in having sex, but I couldn't feel sexual pleasure in the same way either. After two or three months on Zoloft, I realized, "Hey, my orgasms kind of suck." What used to be a fireworks display was now a singular birthday candle getting blown out. This made me even less interested in sex, because it just didn't feel good anymore. Thankfully, I got my orgasms back after six or seven months. Both decreased libido and sexual sensation are common side effects of Zoloft, I discovered after some internet exploring.
Major brain fog.
The first two weeks of starting Zoloft were the hardest. My brain was going through a lot of changes, and I just couldn't think like I used to. I would zone out in class, forget my sentence halfway through, and take forever to remember events that occurred mere hours ago. I had to ask a few teachers to let me retake tests after the fog cleared, because my grades took a slight dip during the first two weeks. It all cleared up before week four, though.
Constant urge to sneeze.
This was probably my weirdest side effect. I felt like I needed to sneeze all the time, but I just couldn't. Hey, maybe it goes along with the orgasm thing. I would try everything to prompt a sneeze- staring into bright slights, blowing my nose, smelling spicy scents, and still, nothing. My psychiatrist wasn't completely sure if this was a direct side effect of the medication, but I'm a firm believer that it was.
Slow and steady relief.
My anxiety, derealization, and OCD symptoms didn't just disappear overnight. It was so gradual, I didn't even realize it. One day, I suddenly realized that I had been living without anxiety for weeks, and that the change was so gradual I had never even noticed.
Although these symptoms seem a bit scary, my life has improved drastically since starting my SSRI. It's definitely a serious decision that requires a lot of planning and consideration, but if you're struggling with a mental illness, I would suggest reaching out to a psychiatrist.
sunrise
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bonfire friends
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sadness
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purple skies
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true love
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My Cheerleader
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womans transformation to happiness and love
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future life together of adventures
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