The trailer for the adaption of Andrew Loyld Webber's famous musical,"Cats" hit our screens this week and it was horrifying. Here's a list of things I have to say about the contents of that nightmare.
The ending shot
The ending shot of the trailer looks postively awful.It just sums up those whole movie in one shot. The shadows don't match with the cats and they all look the same from the back and sides. Because they were all face swapped in, you can't tell whose who unless you're right up on them, making that ending shot look like a bunch of faceless cats are coming to kill you.
Fat Humor
GiphyThis is probably the least humorous part of this listicle. Why does the trailer want me to laugh at Rebel Wilson and James Corden, but not Idiris Elba and the slimmer members of the cast? Hah, hah, laugh at the fat people fall down and be in pain, but the skinny people are serious! What sort of weird body shaming is this?
Tone, what tone??
Ties into the last one. Between the comedy and the drama, it's like the trailer can't decide what it wants to be. The fact that there are so many youtube music videos with horror movie music over the trailers...And they work. The tone is so jumbled that I have no idea how to feel between the fat people humor and Jennifer Hudson's heart wrenching rendition of "Memory" .
Human noses???
I just. I don't understand why they don't have cat noses. The stage production gives them whiskers and what not. WHY
The Furries Don't Even Like It
GiphyI'm serious. AV Club interviewed Furries and oh boy, they were not happy with this uncanny valley either.
Why Do They Move Like That?
GiphyI know what they're going for. It's supposed to be feline or catlike or whatever. But I want to put "The Sims" burglar music over Idiris Elba and Francesa Hayward looks like she's moving in slow motion
How Much Did They Pay These People?
GiphySeriously. Jennifer Hudson. Taylor Swift. Judi Dench. Jason Deluro. Idris Elba. Rebel Wilson. James Corden. Francesa Hayward who went on sabbatical from the Royal Ballet to do this movie. How much did they pay all of you?