First, you sit down on Friday and plan out all of the things you have to do that weekend: write 9 reviews of the galleries you saw for Art History, read those chapters in Howard Zinn you meant to read last week but it totally didn't happen, organize your trip to the Bernie rally in Washington Square with your friends, confirm your tickets to see Fiddler on the Roof on Thursday, go buy that book you need to read for your Anthropology book report, remember to write your entries for your 15 day challenge for English, and also to remember to breathe.

But, as always, you realize you have SO much time to do all that not-so-fun stuff, so why not go out and live a little! The world is your oyster! Carpe Diem! Treat yo'self! Like maybe this:

Or more realistically:

That's okay though, because it's only Saturday and you still have oodles of time to get your life together! But... you do have work in the morning and that'll kill a couple of hours, so you set a goal for yourself. "As SOON as I get home, I'll get started on my work. It's not even so much, I could bang it all out, in like, 3 hours tops. Then I'll have all day to relax. Maybe I'll have a spa day!"

It's around 4 o'clock on Saturday and you got home from work and had a late lunch. Time to sit down and get crackin'. That is, until you realize how exhausted you are. You opened a new Google Doc AND put the appropriate heading on it that your crazy professor wants. You've earned yourself a break. You're probably going to be up until 2AM anyway, so why get started now?

...And 9 and a half hours later you remember you got nothing done. Great. That's fine, it's not even midnight. Let's bang out some B+ work and then you'll have less to do tomorrow. After all, you're a night owl; you haven't slept before 3AM in months. Truly a nocturnal god. That's a good plan, right?

Wrong.

OKAY, IT'S SUNDAY GUYS! WE HAVE ALL DAY TO DO THE LAST MINUTE, JUST-ABOVE-WHAT-IS-EXPECTED WORK YOU ALWAYS PRODUCE. But you're hungry. You'll just catch up on your shows while eating some food and then you'll get right down to it. Cleanse the brain with some nosh and tube and then you'll be primed for the best work to be done.

Nope.

So, it's midnight on Sunday night. One assignment is done, and you've been thinking about what to do for everything else so you could probably just do it in the morning (sure...) because it's all in your head already; you just have to let your genius flow into your keyboard and onto that same Google Doc you opened 2 days ago. It was a valiant effort, my friend. But as your eyes slowly close as you wipe the thought of how much work you have left from your mind, you have accepted defeat. Procrastination wins again.

You'll try again next week.