This week, February 26- March 4 is National Eating Disorder Awareness week. This is a week to spread awareness, provide support, and to work on eradicating the stigma that surrounds eating disorders. NEDA’s (National Eating Disorder Association) awareness week theme this year is “It’s time to talk about it” and that’s exactly what I want to do.

I don’t personally have an eating disorder but someone that I love dearly does and so I feel strongly about this topic. My sister was hospitalized for 3 months her sophomore year of high school to treat her eating disorder. Today she is a freshman in college and this is her fourth year of recovery. In going through this alongside her, I have learned so much about eating disorders and how they impact our world.

Eating disorders are often associated with shame, embarrassment, and secrecy, even when they have already been diagnosed. As a society, eating disorders are not openly discussed or well-understood. Many people believe that eating disorders aren’t “real disorders”, that they’re a conscious choice, or that it’s just a phase that people will grow out of. But those things simply aren’t true. Eating disorders are legitimate, dangerous, and potentially deadly disorders that affect an estimated 30 million people in the United States. One type of eating disorder, anorexia nervosa, has the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric disorder.

Eating disorders don’t just go away on their own. They’re not something that you can grow out of or that can be cured. Eating disorders require medical treatment, therapies, meetings with dieticians, support groups, and motivation and dedication to make a change. Eating disorders are a very real problem and should be taken seriously.

Although eating disorders are technically classified as a psychological health disorder, they impact every single part of a person’s health. Inadequate nutrition takes a significant toll on the body and can have long-lasting and devastating effects. My sister eventually realized how unhealthy she had become when her hair was falling out, her fingers were turning white due to poor blood circulation, and she hadn’t had her period in months.

Because eating disorders aren’t commonly talked about, it’s hard to know how to respond or what to do when someone you love does have an eating disorder. When my sister confided in me that she was struggling, I was completely caught off guard and unprepared to receive that information. Literally, the only thing I knew about eating disorders was that they existed. When she made me promise to not tell anyone, especially my parents, that was an easy promise to make. She was planning on telling them herself when she was ready and that sounded good to me. I told myself I would break my promise and tell my parents if it got bad enough that her life was in danger but what I didn’t know or understand was that her life already was in danger.

She did tell our parents herself, and soon after, when she was admitted into the hospital for inpatient treatment, I felt so much guilt and shame for having not done anything. If I knew then what I knew now maybe things would have been different. Until our lives were turned upside down with my sister living in a hospital an hour away for 3 months and I went from seeing her every day to every weekend, I had no idea how serious eating disorders were.

When she went to the hospital, my family wasn’t exactly advertising why my sister was there. It wasn’t that we were ashamed or embarrassed of her, we just wanted to protect her privacy. People began speculating all kinds of crazy things- that she was pregnant or on drugs and very few people knew the entire truth.

It just wasn’t something that was talked about. My sister barely even talked about it with us who knew about her eating disorder. It was a private thing but it didn’t have to be.

Especially in the past year, she has begun to open up more about her struggles with her eating disorder. What used to be a source of shame is now something that she is proud to advocate for and spread awareness of. When I asked her if I could talk about her in this article, she said yes, but that if I had asked a year ago, she would’ve said no. It is very recent that she has grown in confidence in her willingness to share her experiences. Eating disorders aren’t an easy fix. When she came home from three months in the hospital, she wasn’t better yet. Her health had improved but the mental aspect was a work in progress.

Having an eating disorder doesn’t make you weak. If anything I think it has made my sister stronger. Every single day she wakes up and has to decide to live her life healthily and wholly. She has to battle her inner struggles every day but she is stronger because of it and braver than she ever was before. She chooses life every single day and you can too.

In our society today, where we are consistently shown that our bodies determine our worth, eating disorders are becoming an increasingly common problem that affects the lives of so many people. It’s everyone’s responsibility to learn the truth about eating disorders and to be supportive of those who struggle.

People are so under-informed about eating disorders that even many medical professionals aren’t fully prepared or adequately trained to treat people with such conditions. While there are some doctors, nurses, and psychologists that specialize in eating disorders, the vast majority of them don’t receive enough teaching specific to eating disorders in medical or nursing school. Nurses that were supposed to be treating my sister and helping her, instead made her feel worse by invalidating her illness and complaining that she was taking up their time when they had “real” patients with “real” problems to take care of.

My sister and I both agree that without experiencing an eating disorder, it is impossible to understand fully what it is like. I will never be able to completely comprehend it, because I haven’t lived it like she has. But not having experienced it doesn’t have to stop you from doing something to combat the taboo of eating disorders. Spreading awareness, providing support and discrediting falsities believed and assumed about eating disorders helps to destigmatize.

Eating disorders are real issues that can and should be discussed and treated. So let’s talk about it.