This week I got an ear infection. I am rather frustrated at my ear for this, because it could not have come at a worse time. I recently began training for a new position at a bank, and my training started on the 12th. My ear went out the same day. Ear, come on. Oh, and the kicker is that my training is all over the internet via headsets. So while my left ear has been absolutely killing it in the hearing department this week, ol' righty is not pulling its weight. Here's some observations I have made while suffering through being aware of only left-hand sounds.

1. Parking is harder

For those who do not know me well, I pride myself on my ability to park my vehicle immaculately. Those that DO know me will attest to the fact that I will pull out of a perfectly acceptable parking job to preposition. Turns out ears are vital to this process because this entire week my parking has been 6/10 at best. Now, I'm now doing the classic quad-spot park (see above) but I am having trouble.

2. Being in crowds is awful

I am the kind of person who does not enjoy large crowds. People move at a glacial pace and they always seem to be absorbed in some sort of existential pondering because they never notice the hundreds of others around them. It's as if once they merge into a crowd all awareness of themselves becomes lessened and they latch on to the hive mind for their orders. It's like wandering through a herd of cattle, but cattle you know can do better. So not being able to hear half of everything around me makes it very difficult to navigate properly.

3. I am now tone deaf

Turns out ears are also important for being able to sing on pitch. I love singing and have been singing in choirs for about 5 years. It's a big part of me. So not being able to identify my pitch properly makes it nearly impossible to sing confidently. It's a rough life.

4. I can't stop not hearing

Yes, you read that correctly. You never realize how much you use your hearing until it is ruthlessly taken away from you. Now I spend the whole day being entirely aware of how much not-hearing I am doing. It feels a lot like when someone mentions the weird phenomenon that occurs when you starting thinking about your breathing. The minute you become conscious of it you have to do it manually. Also, ha, gotcha. So I spend the whole day with this fascinating feeling on my right side, as if I am blind to that side of my body. I cannot distinguish what is on my right side unless I turn to see it, and my brain constantly reminds me of that.

Thankfully my ear is slowly healing, the swelling and pain has become much more mild lately. I am hopeful for a full recovery soon. Ideally my suffering will soon end, and like the phoenix rising from the ashes I too will emerge. Stronger. More powerful. Full range of hearing. Watch out world.