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As A Bi-Sexual Woman, I Constantly Find Myself Asking 'Do I Want To Be Her, Or Be With Her?'

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An open letter to the church I grew up in.

Its 2022, and I am getting married.

Jordy

Aug 28, 2022

7682

@rosienaryphotography

Church,

I guess I should start by saying thank you for kindling God and I's relationship.

But here we are in 2022. And you guys are still judging, still hating and cannot pray harder for me because I AM GAY. My 16 year old self really appreciated going to church camp and having a whole sermon on how being gay is wrong, that if you are gay you are going to hell, that it is a choice and we need to pray hard and be baptized to be washed clean, for as if being gay is the equivalent of being a murder or even worst. As i sat through each Sunday hiding a secret but could not wait to let it out, but second guessing my self because the church preached so much hate on being gay . As I got older after kissing several boys and even having sex with them i still did not feel right. I know what your are saying in your heads "well of course you did not feel right because you had sex before you were married."

Well i have a news flash for you sex either feels good or it doesn't. You either feel emotionally connected to someone or you do not. It is really simple. But now you are thinking well marriage is simple its between a "Man and a Woman". If you haven't been welcomed yet let me be the first to welcome you to 2018. Where I a 19 year old girl grew up in little Idaho, fell in love with her best friend and now we are getting married. ( Oh shoot you better stop and pray for me because I am MARRYING A WOMAN!! yes someone who is the same sex as me.)

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An open letter​ to the church I grew up in.

Its 2022, and I am getting married.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

"I don't want to do things. I want to do not things."

1. When your advisor tells you that you should declare a major soon.

2. Seeing the lost and confused freshmen and remembering that was you a short year ago, and now being grateful you know the ins and outs of the campus.

3. Going to the involvement fair to sign up for more clubs knowing that you are already too involved.

4. When you actually do the reading required for the first class.

5. Seeing your friends for the first time since last semester.

6. When you're already drowning in homework during syllabus week.

7. Realizing you don't have the same excitement for classes as you did as a freshman.

8. Going home and seeing people from high school gets weirder the older you get.

9. You've already established your de-stress routine.

10. Wondering where all the new freshman came from.

11. But ultimately being glad that you have a lot more knowledge than you did a year ago.

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7. And for watching the ridiculous reality TV shows with me because no one else will.

8. For helping me with all of that awful homework that even you couldn't understand.

9 For giving us a taste of our own medicine when we needed it.

10. For setting my curfew at a reasonable hour to ensure I didn't get into any mischief. (I was still able to accomplish a little mayhem though)

11. For spoiling me as a little girl but making me do chores as I got older. I now understand the point of having a clean house.

12. For being the best host to all of the weird friends I would bring over.

13. And for standing up for me when those weird friends stabbed me in the back.

14. For listening when I needed to vent and always giving the best advice possible.

15. For being the absolute best cook. No arguments there.

16. For answering every single phone call and the millions of questions that I always have.

17. For letting me form my own identity and encouraging me along the way.

18. For going on shopping dates with me and always telling me your honest opinion.

19. For rolling the windows down and singing along to the music with me.

20. And for being the best mom possible. I love you!

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An open letter to the church I grew up in.

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