“We regret to inform you…”

The amount of times that my eyes have come into intimate contact with these words is quite comical. I have been rejected from special programs, colleges, jobs, internships, boys etc. more times than I can count on my two hands. However, no matter how many times I get thrown off the horse I alway pick myself up, dust off and hop right back on. Rejection has been the key to all of my success.

The words “no,” “we regret to inform you,” “unfortunately,” have extremely negative connotations when they address the recipient. Many people often believe that rejection is a sign that one is unworthy of the experience, not good enough, not skilled enough or not experienced enough. Often times it is not about any of those. These words just mean, not today.

Rejection is not a personal attack on who you are as a person. Rejection tells us that we have a little more work todo before we are ready to embark on this journey. Rejection tells us that is not where we are suppose to be at this point in time. Rejection tells us to try and try again.

Believe me rejection hurts like a bitch. I am not saying that it is easy. I am not saying that you have to be numb to the pain. I am saying that when you hear any form of “no” that you do not let that stop you from achieving your life goals. No matter the sting, no matter the pain, no matter the tears make sure you never give up. There is something to be learned from each rejection. It could be as small as a boy telling you that he is not interested to as big as not getting into the college of your dreams or getting your dream internship.

Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. What you thought might be the right fit for you may not be where you are suppose to be. Rejection is many times a saving grace. Everything happens for a reason. You might not have gotten into your number one program but your second choice of program ends up giving you more opportunities than you could have ever begin to imagine.

There is one stipulation. You must be open and accepting of where you are in life. If you close yourself off from all of the possibilities both hidden and exposed you will never reap the benefits. I did not get into my number one college choice, but my number two has become a safe space, a family and a supporter of my career. If I had gotten into the other college I would have never had the experiences I have had here on the University of New Haven’s camps.

Rejection is a sign that you have to keep trying. The initial avenue that you thought would work does not necessarily end up being your path to success. A few “no’s” pushes you towards the door that you need to open for a new chapter of your life to being.