The idea of the "crazy ex-girlfriend" is probably as old as relationships are. We've grown up hearing about it and it has been ingrained into our relationship culture. But the idea of the crazy ex-girlfriend is actually extremely problematic. It can have negative effects for those (usually women) involved, even though it has become a very normal phrase in our society.

There's even a new hit series with just this title on The CW and a whole bunch of other movies, TV series, and songs about "crazy" female exes. Women have just recently started pushing back with songs about crazy ex-boyfriends, but the stereotype of the crazy ex-girlfriend has been around for just as long as heterosexual relationships have.

Let's break it down. First of all, the term "crazy" being thrown around can be perceived as ableist. By definition ableism is a "form of discrimination or social prejudice against individuals with disabilities." Because mental illness can be considered a disability in many ways, and derogatory terms like "crazy" and "insane" are slung at them on the daily, calling someone crazy is damaging, not only to that person, but to a whole slew of people who are constantly fighting against the stigma of that word.

Using this term could also be a form of gaslighting. A lot of partners (guys in particular) tend to label their past partners as "crazy exes" in order to make themselves look better. Most of the time these partners leave out pertinent information about the relationship, usually pertaining to the things that they've done or said, which could even be things that severely damaged the relationship. Usually this is because the person is seeking justification for ending the relationship as well as self-reassurance in order to make themselves feel better. But this makes you stop and think: so your partner did X, Y, and Z, but what did you do? Leaving out another party's side of the story doesn't help anyone and it generally makes you look terrible if you constantly sling insults towards an ex. Be mature. Stop gaslighting.

In most cases it also pits one woman against another, perpetuating the idea of "girl hate." As has been previously mentioned here at The Odyssey, girl hate is something that needs to be eliminated. Women are constantly judged and discriminated against for simply being women, so it's safe to say that they have enough to deal with. If we include the added hate from a slew of exes it intensifies and becomes worse. So, rather than hating your partner's ex for absolutely no reason, brush it off. If you're part of the present while the other is part of the past, don't dwell on it--especially since society and media make it so easy for us to do just that.

Girl hate and perpetuating the stereotype of the "crazy ex" are social constrictions that women need to band together to eliminate. So ladies, remember to stop perpetuating this idea. Work alongside your lady friends to get rid of it and, especially, work alongside your male friends to remind them that their exes aren't crazy.