The sex-ed system in America sucks.

Currently, the basis of “sex-ed programs” is sex = death and if you lose your virginity, you (mostly women) are tainted as a human and you will never be perfect –unless you are abstinent, wait till marriage and then have a baby. But that’s NOT what happens. And that is NOT what sex is about.

Most of the time, kids are learning more about sex-ed when they’re out in the real world dealing with it rather than what they learned in the classroom. We are taught to uncover the surface of the word “sex,” but we never actually go into the definition of it, what is does, what is can do, and the details about it. Sex is something that you can’t learn in one day. We need to take our TIME on it, start at a young age and increase the education, as a child gets older so they KNOW what to expect and are smart about it.

Why do we look at sex like its some foreign taboo? Why does everyone get easily offended when it comes to teaching about sex to someone at a young age? It's even offensive to say the word vagina or penis or even clitoris without getting dirty looks.

We need to CHANGE the system and make it better, teach children at a young age that sex is a normal part of life, teach them the risks, benefits, and ALL the details, so they are better prepared when the time comes.

You learn that sex is just one thing going into another and penetration, but that’s not even half of it. What about oral or anal sex or skin-to-skin genitalia touching? Did you learn what that was in your health class?

We are never taught about orgasm or pleasure. Did you learn about the clitoris? We are never taught about blowjobs or foreplay. We are taught that ONLY two things can come out of sex: a baby or an STD.

John Olivier gave a speech on his show about the sexual education system in America, bringing up facts like, “only 22 states mandate sex education and only 13 require the information to be ‘medically accurate.’” WTF!

Why does America treat sexual education different than any other education? It is JUST as important. Most of the time you’re sent home with a permission slip that your parents have to sign, allowing you to participate in a time-allotted slot of school to talk about sex. I’ve taken college level courses on sexual health and can honestly say that spending an entire semester on this subject didn’t even cover HALF of what sex really entails.

In school you learn about what your junk would look like with an untreated STI. But we never actually talk about how to reduce your risk. I mean, there are other ways to tell other than looking down one day and seeing your penis is green or your vagina has bumps all over it. Most of the time, STIs don’t show ANY symptoms at all so it’s important for both you AND your partner to get tested.

We, at least in my middle and high school health classes, went through an entire ordeal about HIV and AIDS. And that is VERY important to learn about, but as much time as we focus on AIDS, we should focus on other STIs like gonorrhea, or chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, hepatitis or mucopurulent cerictic among other diseases that you’ve probably never heard of.

We learn about “getting tested,” but when? How often? Where? When should we, and how do we?

It’s important to talk to your doctor, or any doctor, really, about this. Getting tested depends on your body type, how old you are, sexual habits and basically just being an adult with adult responsibilities. You can go to your home physician or places like Planned Parenthood. They are there for you when you have questions like these. Just don’t be scared! It’s a normal thing.

I was lucky enough to come from a household where I was free to ask any questions about sex and not get shunned away. It’s important to be there for curious children, answer their questions before they go out and try to figure it out for themselves. Most of the time, that can happen and they come home pregnant or emotionally hurt.

We barely learn about “contraceptives,” mostly condoms and birth control, but that’s it! You probably had the “condom over the banana” skit, but we are never taught about IUDs, female condoms, dental dams, the patch, the shot, the implant, the ring, etc. We aren’t even taught the different types of birth control. We are forced to believe that birth control is a one-size-fits-all pill, but it is so much more than that.

Sex is more than the penetrative act of putting something inside another thing, in sex-ed, we are never taught about the physiological and emotional turmoil you might go through. Sex is stigmatized throughout our entire life and your emotional and physical health can get hurt if you’re not prepared for the effects that sex has on you. A teenager, or young adult, going through something like this is the most vulnerable time in life. Loosing something like your virginity is a huge milestone, no matter what age you are.

SEX ED MUST BE LGBTQ INCLUSIVE. Sex is not for straight males and females, it never was and it never will be. It’s important to learn about the risks that LGB members might face as well. LGB teenagers are more likely to experience unplanned pregnancies, so sex is for everyone and immersing people of all orientations is essential.

The sad thing is, you’re learning more about sex when you’re actually out there in the real world doing it and by that time, you haven’t learned anything about safe sex enough to protect yourself when the time is right. And sadly, it’s come down to the fact that you have to educate yourself.

Did you actually get anything out of sex-ed class other than the fear of a condom breaking and you risk getting syphilis and/or getting pregnant? If anything, you left with more questions than you had before. We need to start sex-ed at a young age, where it has an impact large enough to grow when everyone starts growing older. WE NEED TO TEACH ABOUT HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, ABUSE, CONSENT AND EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. These are JUST as important as learning about sex. These are real-life dangers that someone can go through and we need to TEACH about it and what to do when this happens.

One HUGE chapter in the “sex talk” is importance of knowing the difference between sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression. Do you even know what those mean? It’s important not to substitute one for the other because they all do NOT mean the same thing.

I can see what a lack of sexual education in school systems looks like; the increase of classmates getting pregnant and the immediate adulthood young teens have to phase when parenting, the stigma coming with sexual curiosity, the overwhelming damage one might face with losing their virginity or the pain of sexual abuse.

I know it will take a long time, but we need to change the sexual education system in America. We need to teach more, teach it early and teach it truthfully.