Let’s start out with the essential question—why, as a country, do we care about the Kardashian-Jenner family so much? It seems as though Kim “breaks” the Internet every other day, and if not her, one of her family members is taking social media by storm. Their show on E!, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, is said to have once had 2.081 million viewers per episode.

The fact that 2 million-plus Americans sit on their couches and watch an hour in the life of a Kardashian-Jenner is so unfortunate. However, I, too, have sinned. It just sucks you in. WHY?! I don’t think we will ever know the answer to this question. Is it because we are all so incredibly envious of their fabulous lifestyle? Is it because Kim could wear Aeropostale and instantly make it middle-school-cool again? Is it because Khloe’s sass gives our nation life? Yes, yes, and obvi.

Kim made a sex tape with Ray J for her claim to fame. Kourtney has the cutest kids I’ve ever seen. Khloe just says whatever is on her mind. Kendall models. Kylie Instagrams a selfie every four minutes. Kris is a MILF. And it seems like Kanye (married to Kim) believes he is actually Jesus Christ.

With that being said, the Kardashian and Jenner ladies haven’t done anything super awesome that should have Americans, or the rest of the world, so captivated by them. Nevertheless, we are, and here I am, writing an article about them, knowing much too much about their lives for being such a hater. Perhaps it’s because I am guilty of following almost all of them on social media, something that most of Kim’s other 40 million followers are guilty of as well.

I recently added Kylie Jenner on Snapchat, just to continue to “keeping up with the Kardashians” (though Kylie is actually a Jenner). I hate myself for doing so, but I have to. It’s crazy. She’s 17 (nearly 18) yet looks 25. Speaking of 25, Tyga, her speculated boyfriend (well, speculated ex-boyfriend now), is actually 25. It makes you wonder what kind of influences she’s having on young girls who keep up with her just as closely as I do, but don’t see why she’s not the best role model. As social media showed us in the past, people will try anything to resemble Kylie. The “Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge” became popular on Twitter overnight and caused teens to suck on a shot glass to give their lips that full, plump look similar to Kylie’s. *Universal sigh*

I could rant all day about the infamous Kardashians and Jenners, yet I’ll still watch Kylie’s Snapchat story of her driving and posing in her Range Rover later, and then look at Kim’s Instagram and even skim through her book, Selfish, when I stumble upon it at Urban Outfitters. True story, people. It is a book dedicated to nothing but selfies of Kim over the years. (Again, WHY?)

You know what they say, though: “Don’t hate me ‘cause you ain’t me.”