"He said we can still be friends."

-What he really meant was that we can be the kind of strangers that share silent memories and a passing smile every once in awhile-

Talking to someone everyday, getting into a routine, and then having to let it all go and move on starting a new routine is one of the most difficult things you have to go through with someone who still means the world to you. I think the hardest part of losing someone, isn't having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. Always trying to fill the void, the emptiness that's left inside your heart when they go.

It is never easy letting someone go and honestly I don't think we every really fully let someone go out of our lives. We always continue to hold onto something that we had with that person. We compare things to the next person we start to talk to, we hold onto the ways they told us that they missed us, or that they just wanted to talk instead of going to bed because they love the conversations that they have.

The hardest part is letting go of everything that you shared together. You have to let go of the way that they kissed you, the way that they smelled, the way they touched your wrist and pulled you in. You have to let it go and you have to let them go. Because that's who they were, not who they really are.

Saying goodbye, no matter who it is, will always be heart breaking. It's saying goodbye to something that you just gave your all to, saying goodbye to someone whom you thought you could trust opening up to and sharing secrets you haven't told anyone else. It's saying goodbye to all the memories that you made with this person and being forced to be okay with it. But, we all know no matter how many times we say we are okay we aren't.

When you end something with someone and they ask "we can still be friends though right?" it does something to you. They ask if you can still talk and be there for each other but in reality you don't want anything do with what is infant of them because this whole time it was supposed to be you. You were supposed to be in their future, so you just sit there and think about how you want to say no, but you say yes anyways because you don't want to let go.

You sit there and you think about how they don't actually want to be your friend. They were just being nice. They never want to see you again. They got sick of you. You can't really blame them: you get sick of yourself sometimes too.

Can we just be friends?

Yes, you respond.

But, you really want to say can't we be more than friends.