Our generation grew up as the participation trophy kids. We got gold stars for finishing our homework assignments, candy for sitting still at the grocery store, and new toys for simply doing what was asked of us. As a kid, this was a sweet deal. Complete the most basic of tasks and generally be a decently behaved child, and have the rewards rained down on us. The argument? That it would reinforce good behavior and be inclusive. And the intentions are good, I can see that, but in my opinion it does more harm than good.

I’ve witnessed scenes of crying kids after a basketball game loss and the subsequent team party that boasts “participation trophies” and “most improved” and “team player” awards. While it is important to be present and participate, and always beneficial to improve and be a team player, those are things that should be engrained in a kid’s personality growing up, not treated as a temporary behavior for some kind of reward. As soon as it is understood that these behaviors are to be expected and not used as bait for a meaningless reward, then entitlement in coming generations will cease. I would be lying if I said that in my life I have not ever felt that I did the bare minimum but still deserved recognition. I wish I could go back in time and smack myself in the face for ever thinking that I deserved a pat on the back for doing something that was no skin off my back. Qualities of a good human being and a productive member of society should be expected and can be taught without dangling some prize in front of the nose of a kid.

Trying your best should be left for new foods and traveling and experiencing new things. There is a big difference between trying a food you’ve never had before and trying to get a good grade on a test. I remember thinking in middle school that as long as I “tried my best”, any grade would be good enough. And I can’t tell you how many times I used the “but everyone thought the test was hard!” excuse. The thing is, there shouldn’t be an excuse for things like that. In the wise words of Yoda, “there is not try, there is only do or do not”, and I am a firm believer in that. Trying is just the midway point between success and failure, and honestly, if you don’t end up getting the win, your fault was in the preparation. We need to teach the kids growing up and the generations that will come that they cannot settle for trying, for participating, for simply existing and doing the bare minimum. Reward the victors in a game, give the best grades to the kids that study and know their stuff, and start expecting more. Kids are more capable of true success than we give them credit for.