Dear You,

You will automatically know this is about you the second that you read the title and see the cover photo. Yesterday you tagged me in an article that was titled "To My Ex-Best Friend." I stopped what I was doing to read it, but I could not find a way to respond. So in true fashion I did what I do best, I did not. It was almost like you wrote the article yourself when I read it; I just wanted to say that I am sorry.

I realized that I am truly an awful person, and you did not deserve our friendship to end the way that it did. I have not found a new best friend because to me you still are my best friend. I always compare other friendships to ours, and they will always fall short (sorry for my other friends if this offends you).

I never had any hatred for you; I figured that you would hate me after I kind of just up and left our plans to take on another offer. I am sorry about that as well, I am sorry I put you in a position where you felt like you were being left out. Sorry for leaving you out of the last two weeks of high school, but you seem like you are having a better time with your new friends than you ever did with me. I am sorry I deleted all of our pictures off of Instagram and Facebook, but every time I saw them, I got nostalgic.

I still have nostalgia too, but instead of a sweetness, mine tends to come with a deep and sorrowful regret. I am sorry that I was not a better friend to you. I still remember when a guy, who was very bad, broke your heart, and we went to his dorm room and he called campus security on us. I remember going prom dress shopping and me being as clumsy as I am and knocking down the curtain. I remember when I was late to school on purpose so I could miss the bus to Early College and get us McDonald's for lunch on the way back to school. I feel regretful when I remember these things mainly because I know they will not happen anymore.

There are also times that I am thankful for and that do not cause me as much pain. I am thankful for all of the times that you went to my dermatologist appointments with me (she always asks about you; I always tell her you are doing great). I am also thankful that you were down to go to eat all the time. I am thankful you talked me into staying in school after I was determined to drop out. I am thankful that you were always there to finish my punch line, and I still often times find myself looking over for you to finish it. I am mostly thankful for the time we got to spend together.

Yes, I still think that we are best friends; I am always open to us being friends. I still want you to be my maid of honor at my wedding, because you were the first person to see me for all I was, all I am, and all I ever will be. I still refer to you as my best friend whenever I meet new people, because I believe that we will be best friends one day again, and I hope that you do as well.

With the most love I have,

The girl who thinks you are still her best friend