"It's in your head." "You could get over it if you tried." "Just don't think about it." These are things that people with anxiety, depression, and panic disorder hear every day. None of them are true. As a person who suffers with panic disorder, I can tell you that those feelings are not controllable. Enclophobia is the fear of large crowds. It isn't a common term for people to know because it isn't a common phobia, but I have it. When I see a crowd, my hands start shaking, my heart beats fast and hard, my muscles tense, white dots begin dancing in my vision, I stop being able to take deep breaths, I then hyperventilate and begin crying. My mind is completely blank when these things happen. All I can think is "oh no".

For those of you who still don't believe that it is real and who still believe i can control these things, how do you suggest I do it? I have tried everything! I wish with my whole being that I had the ability to go to a concert, a big city, to live life like a normal person, to not be contained and controlled by an illogical fear. Unfortunately, though, this is not in my head, I cannot get over it because I try as hard as I can every day, and I'm not thinking about anything when it happens, I don't think "oh, look, people! Time to stop functioning." I think "okay, I can do this." Most of the time, though, I can't. These things happen as a physical reaction to a situation that other people are lucky enough to get to experience without fear. Enclophobia is real. Panic disorder is real. Anxiety is real. Depression is real.

If I could simulate a panic attack for those people who tell me and others like me that we can control it, I would. This is real. This is what people like me go through every day. If you are one of the people who tell people to "get over it" and still believe that they can control it, maybe one day you will understand. If you were one of those people but are rethinking ever saying those things again, thank you. If you have panic disorder, anxiety, depression, or an illogical fear of something that makes day-to-day life difficult, you are not alone; and I believe you.