With Thanksgiving kicking off the holiday season, it's hard not to be grateful... to return to college. You were poked and probed into answering every nosy question, forced to share your childhood bedroom, and exiled to the children's table. The worst part is that in a month we have to do it all again. Here are 15 ways to get through it with no trips to the emergency or padded room.
15. Alcohol. All the alcohol.
The classic remedy for all family problems. Just load grandma up and let the good times roll. Maybe she'll encounter some of Santa's reindeer.
14. Sound-proof earbuds.
Good for noisy *cough cousin having sex in your race car bed cough* relatives. Or if you've simply heard enough about the presidential election that will not take place for another year, these are the way to go. Plus, who really want to listen to your aunt Phyllis ask where you boyfriend is for the hundredth time?
13. Caffeinated beverages.
If you've spent 15 hours flying across the country losing your precious beauty sleep, these can turn you from monster to Santa's little helper in about 20 minutes.
12. Calming coloring books.
Swirling patterns twirling around a page that magically connect to make a bird. And it now comes in special holiday editions.
11. Commit yourself to a DIY project.
Block the chaos out through focusing on something else, like writing an article for instance. Extra points if it's holiday themed, but you don't have to pull a Buddy the Elf and decorate the whole house.
10. Bond over holiday music and movies.
Nothing says Christmas like watching "Elf" and quoting all the lines, or caroling (while imbibing all your family's eggnog). You'll feel closer mentally and physically because you'll all be squeezed on your weird uncle Earl's couch.
9. Have time alone.
Seriously. For your sanity and that of others, find something to do on your own. Your mother does not need another person in the kitchen micromanaging her every move. That's what she has your grandma for.
8. Get an Elf on the Shelf.
He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, and he knows when you're doing naughty s**t. Keep your annoying niece and nephew in line with this device. They'll be so afraid they won't get presents they'll calmly join you as you color in your amazing new book.
7. Yoga breathing.
For all those yogis out there, this is for you. You know that inner peace is one breath (and one slice of aunt Jenn's pumpkin pie) away. As a bonus, it will stop you from saying anything you may regret later.
6. Watch the never-ending fireplace on Netflix.
Your inner pyro will go bananas for this one. It's almost like real life. I mean, some computers leave burn marks.
5. Get baked.
I mean bake. Christmas cookies are cathartic. Just don't pull an Izzy Stephens and fill up the kitchen with chocolate muffins.
4. Kiss someone under the mistletoe.
Kissing is proven to reduce stress, and maybe it can break the tension, too. Just don't let your grandma catch you, she just got an iPhone and is not afraid to use it (to take embarrassing photos).
3. Shop online.
The time-honored tradition of racing to malls and department stores is long gone. This is a tree-free way you can get all you shopping done, and avoid all of your weird high school friends.
2. Fake it 'til you make it.
Plant a smile firmly on your face, and keep it there. If you can keep it together, it may actually make you happier. Or it'll just make your face hurt.
1. Go to your significant other's house.
It may still be awkward, but it'll be infinitely better because they aren't your family, but someone else's. You get to sit back and watch the dysfunction unfold, because your SO's parents are just happy they brought someone home this year.
