October is domestic violence awareness month (DVAM), which means it's time to rep ALL of your purple clothes and pay attention even more so to the people in your community who have witnessed and/or survived domestic violence. It's important to know that domestic violence does not always exist in an explicitly visible way. This means listening to the indirect cries for help, paying attention to your loved ones, and concerning yourself with the fact that perpetrators of abuse all look different, as do survivors. To help survivors everywhere, here are 5 things you can do as an advocate.
1. Offer to help them find services.
Simply locating a domestic violence agency could act as a huge help. There is only so much you can do, so utilize the resources in your community! And remember that calling the police is not always the safest option.
2. Offer them a temporary place to stay should they choose to leave.
Whether it be a couple of nights, a week, or a few months, opening your home to a survivor if/when they choose to leave the situation can be the difference in their choice of staying/leaving. Always ensure that by offering your home, you are not endangering them more.
3. Educate those around you about the importance of DV awareness.
You starting a discussion may just be the difference in someone's life. Be brave. Some people are uncomfortable with the topic, but the point is to start a dialogue to decrease the discomfort. Enduring some discomfort talking about it does not compare to the discomfort that survivors experience. The least we can do as advocates is start a conversation!
4. Be aware of your interactions-- you never know when you may be talking to a survivor.
Language is critical! Be conscious of your word choice, as you don't want to accidentally replicate the perpetrator's words. For example, avoid condescending phrases like "Why didn't you ___" or "You should have ___".
5. Attend (or host if you're able!) an event to show your support.
Make sure you're wearing purple, too!