Most of us have been there before, we've been dating someone and while things seemed good, maybe even great, for a while, they just aren't working out anymore.
This usually leads to the dreaded break up.
Breaking up with someone is no easy feat and it can be messy and complicated. If you do it the wrong way, the fall out can be far worse than it need be.
It's so important to be able to break up with someone in a respectful and adult manner, especially if you really do care about whomever it is that you are ending things with.
So, here are 8 rules to abide by when breaking up with someone:
1. Try and do it in person
I am sure that you have heard this before, but it is true. You do not want to be that douche that breaks up with someone over text. It honestly makes you look like you can't have the courage to confront them in person.
This rule applies especially if you have been dating for a long time or if you really do care about the person.
There are exceptions, such as if you are long distance, but if it is possible then try your best to do it in person. The reality is, is that this was someone that you used to (or still do) care about so that is the least that you can do for them.
2. Be honest
Be totally honest, but make it respectful. Like if you are breaking up with them because you think they are crazy, then don't necessarily tell them that. Say something more along the lines of why it wasn't working and be specific.
Especially be honest if you are leaving them for someone else. Do not lie because when they see that you are with someone else the week after, then that makes you look bad.
Yes, being honest can be hurtful sometimes, but in the end it is better to be honest than to lie and hurt them more down the road when they find out.
3.) Make sure it is a good time
Do NOT break up with someone during finals week or if his or her grandparents just passed away.
Just use some goddamn common sense.
You do not want to put even more stress on them and upset them more if they are already going through a tough time.
Unless things are really time sensitive and you can't stand to be with that person any longer then try and wait until things have calmed down a bit in their life.
Nobody wants to be the guy/girl that broke up with someone when their dog died because that's just ruthless, so don't do it!
4. Don’t stall
I realize that this is very contradictive to the last point, but this one applies to when there is not anything else really going on and you just are afraid to do it.
If you really think that it needs to be done, then just get it over with so you both can get on with your lives and move on.
5. Don’t give them hope
If you really do not want to be with them anymore then don't use phrases like "maybe one day in the future" or "just not right now"
Why, you ask?
Because it is leading them on! It is giving them some glimmer of hope that there is a possibility that you guys will get back together again and it isn't right to string them along like that.
6. Don’t post about it on social media
Don't rant on Twitter about them and post petty quotes on Instagram about how happy you are that things are over.
Be mature and understand that bashing the relationship online is not how you respect the other person.
Even if they start it first, just let it go and move on to happier things.7. Use “I” statements
Yah, this might sound really cheesy, but when you use "I" statements, such as saying, "I feel…", then you are not making it sound like you are blaming them.
Instead, it feels more like you are just expressing your emotions.
8. If they cry, help them
If they are crying, don't just walk away.
No matter how badly you are over the relationship, do not just leave them sitting there crying.
Offer them a shoulder if you feel its acceptable and some tissues.
I'm not saying that you need to act like how you would if you were still dating and they were crying, but you should show them some compassion.
It is best to walk away from the situation when they have calmed down.
