I’ve met a lot of people who claim to be pro-life. And sometimes, those people do all that they can to actually help women and children, which is awesome. I applaud those people. However, the vast majority of people who claim to be pro-life don’t do anything outside of protesting abortion clinics (often spewing vile, hateful things in the process) or voting for politicians who will make abortion illegal, but then do nothing to help those who would consequently be required to carry a baby to term. The fact that this is the face of the pro-life movement is saddening to me.

Friends, I’m not here to tell you to stop being pro-life. I’m not here to shame you for your beliefs or shut down your truths. But there’s more to being pro-life than protesting outside of abortion clinics. If you’re pro-life and looking for a way to actively help the women, children, and men in your community, then these 7 things are for you.

1. Listen

The most important thing you can do is to listen. You may have never had an abortion yourself, and that’s exactly why it’s not your turn to talk. You will never understand what these women have been through. Let them tell their story. Listen to understand, not to reply.

2. Donate to a pregnancy center

Pregnancy centers are a wonderful, wonderful resource for women who want to choose life but aren’t able to do it alone. Pregnancy centers offer pregnancy tests, emotional support, medical and apartment referrals, and some even offer ultrasounds all for free. When you donate money to these centers, you are allowing them to keep doing these awesome things.

3. Donate to a youth care center

Being pro-life doesn’t stop at making sure a child is born. Being pro-life means loving people of all ages and wanting children fed, clothed, educated, and happy, not just children born. Donating clothes and food to youth care or foster care centers

4. Lobby Congress...for foster care reform

The foster care system is broken. Several kids grow up in foster care and are kicked out at age 18 without a clue what to do, and several kids get adopted into abusive families. If you want to lobby Congress, get angry about the kids living and breathing right now getting abused through the foster care system. All children deserve a happy ending.

5. Pray

If you don’t have money to donate, then pray. Pray, and don’t announce to the world that you’re praying. Don’t simply pray for an end to abortion; pray for children to be fed and educated. Pray for children to be adopted into loving homes. Pray for women who have had an abortion to heal.

6. Volunteer

Volunteering is the absolute most direct way to be pro-life. Nothing says “I’m pro-life” quite like volunteering at a pregnancy center, a youth center, or any other organization that works closely with women and children (and men, too. Anyone can be affected by abortion).

7. Be a friend

Love, rather than shun, women who have had abortions. It is not your job to play God and judge women. It’s not your job to throw disgust at women who don’t regret their abortions, while simultaneously shutting down the women who do regret it and need to go to someone about it. It’s not your job to throw disgust at any woman who’s had an abortion, period. Listening and loving will help the woman far more than hating her will.

Being pro-life isn’t just about making sure children are born. It’s about caring about all people. It isn’t just about their right to exist, it’s about making sure they will have a good life. We cannot talk about someone’s right to life before first creating the conditions under which this is viable.